A Surprise Gift

Letting Go, Life, Relationships 0

If others do change because of something we said or did, which sometimes happens, we feel validated and this validation boosts our self-confidence.  Unfortunately, it also encourages us to repeat our behavior relentlessly.  Face it.  Others change only because they want to.  Not because we want them to.

So why do we incessantly try to do the impossible?  After years of observation, coupled with my own unyielding commitment to changing this behavior in myself, I have concluded that we attempt to control as a way of quelling the threat we feel when our companions have opinions or attitudes or behaviors that differ from our own.  The greater the threat, the more we try to control.

But what we discover when we give up trying to control everybody and everything is that we suddenly have the time and opportunity to learn and change and grow within ourselves, so that we can progress to the next level of spiritual awareness that awaits us.

A surprise benefit, too, is that by letting go, moving on, and living our own lives peacefully and with intention, we often inspire others to change in the very ways we want them to change.  Ironic, isn’t it?…

Being powerless over others is one of the best gifts we have been given on this journey.  Trust me.  You will be grateful, in time.

— Karen Casey, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow, p. 66-68

Power

Growth, Healing, Letting Go, Life 0

Sometimes, I forget things that I know.  Sometimes I forget that letting go has more power than holding on, and then I forget to let go.  Sometimes I get so focused on the other person and what they need and want that I forget how I feel, what’s important to me, and what I need and want too.  Sometimes I forget that no matter what situation I find myself in, I do have powers available to me, even when I feel overpowered.  I have the power to think, to feel, to pray for guidance, the power to let go, and take care of myself no matter what’s coming down on my head.  And sometimes I forget that the temporary hit of power from drama addiction wanes in comparison to the real power we can connect to when we’re at peace with the world, and with ourselves.

— Melody Beattie, Playing It by Heart, p. 242-243

The Stories of Our Lives

Gratitude, Healing, Joy, Life 0

However God may choose to evaluate our lives, whatever memory of our past we shall have in heaven, we know this:  It will only contribute to our joy.  We will read our story by the light of redemption and see how God has used both the good and the bad, the sorrow and the gladness for our welfare and his glory.  With the assurance of total forgiveness we will be free to know ourselves fully, walking again through the seasons of life to linger over the cherished moments and stand in awe at God’s grace for the moments we have tried so hard to forget.  Our gratitude and awe will swell into worship of a Lover so strong and kind as to make us fully his own.

— Brent Curtis & John Eldredge, The Sacred Romance, p. 190-191

Dare to Be Enriched

Joy, Life 0

Being open to the flow of abundance will not eliminate pain from your life.  It won’t instantly make you wealthy.  It won’t even guarantee that people will come to your parties.  What it will do is reinstate you at the center of your own life.  Being open to the flow of abundance will sustain your capacity to greet whatever comes your way, as you dare to be enriched by it.

— Victoria Castle, The Trance of Scarcity, p. 87

Better Late Than Never

Forgiveness, Growth, Life 0

As we renew our commitment to the processes of life, then the processes of life will recommit to us.  We’ll feel forgiven for a past that wasn’t all it should have been when we commit to a future that is all that it can, should, and will be — now that we’ve finally grown up.

The prodigal son did get home late, having partied hard, but his father rejoiced to see him.  And so does ours.

Wherever you’ve been, and whatever you’ve done so far, your entire life was building up to this moment.  Now is the time to burst forth into your greatness — a greatness you could never have achieved without going through exactly the things you’ve gone through.  Everything you’ve experienced was grist for the mill by which you become who you are.  As low as you might have descended, in God there are no limits to how high you can go now.  It is not too late.  You are not to old.  You are right on time.  And you are better than you know.

— Marianne Williamson, The Age of Miracles, p. 9

Age Well

Letting Go, Life 0

By midlife most individuals stop blaming external villains for problems.  They accept their shortcomings more readily and change their ways.  This willingness to reform is a major difference between those who age well and those who do not.

— Allan B. Chinen, Once Upon a Midlife, p. 80

Feelings and Circumstances

Life, Peace, Truth 0

From my vantage point, you’d have seen many, many people who are deeply loved and still lonely, beautiful and still horribly self-conscious, professionally successful and still so terrified of failure that their nocturnal tooth-gnashing could crush diamonds.  Here’s something you’ll need to hold in your mind, at least temporarily, if you want to get a good look at your own North Star:  External circumstances do not create feeling states.  Feeling states create external circumstances.

— Martha Beck, Steering by Starlight: Find Your Right Life No Matter What!, p. 6

Resting in Jesus

Growth, Life, Story 0

Resting in Jesus is not applying a spiritual formula to ourselves as a kind of fix-it.  It is the essence of repentance.  It is letting our heart tell us where we are in our own story so that Jesus can minister to us out of the Story of his love for us.  When, in a given moment, we lay down our false self and the smaller story of whatever performance has sustained us, when we give up everything else but him, we experience the freedom of knowing that he simply loves us where we are.  We begin just to be, having our identity anchored in him.  We begin to experience our spiritual life as the “easy yoke and light burden” Jesus tells us is his experience.

— Brent Curtis & John Eldredge, The Sacred Romance, p. 174-175

Brokenness

Joy, Life, Trials, Trust 0

Something bad happens.  I hurt.  I feel unhappy.  I long to feel good.  I ask God for help.  I am resolved to feel better.  I do whatever I can to make at least a few dreams come true.  That is the way of the flesh.

Something bad happens.  I hurt.  I feel unhappy.  I long to feel good.  But I trust God.  His pleasure matters more than mine.  But His pleasure includes mine.  I believe that.  So I abandon myself to His pleasure.  I live to please Him.  I work hard and live responsibly and strive to put balance in my life because that pleases Him.  Making Him feel good is a higher priority than making me feel good.  And somehow, inevitably, at some point, I discover joy.  That is the way of the Spirit.

I shift from walking in the way of the flesh to walking in the way of the Spirit when the pain of life destroys my confidence in my ability to make life work and when it exposes as intolerable, insubordinate arrogance my demand to feel good.  That is the experience of brokenness.  It is then that the chain falls off my leg and the heavy ball rolls away.  It is then that I fly.

— Larry Crabb, Shattered Dreams, p. 153-154

Age with Joy

Joy, Life 0

The responsibilities of a mature life often force us to focus on things that are immediately in front of us, and in that sense, “settling down” can be a good thing.  But such focus doesn’t have to translate into a constricted state of mind.  No one can age well who lets go of their sense of wonder.  You might find yourself thinking things like, Oh, that museum.  Been there, done that.  But if you make the visit anyway, you’ll realize that what you saw at the museum in your younger years was only a fraction of what your eyes can see now….

All of us have seen people who’ve aged with sorrow; we’ve seen others as well who’ve aged with joy.  It’s time to intend to age with joy, deciding that the joy of youth is a good kind of joy, but it’s not the only kind.  In fact, there is a joy in knowing that after all these years, we’ve finally grown up.

— Marianne Williamson, The Age of Miracles:  Embracing the New Midlife, p. 4-5