The Myth of the Problem-free Life

Compassion, Healing, Joy, Life, Trials 0

We learned an important lesson in our decade-long friendships.  We learned that we had been fooled.  We had convinced ourselves that if we could manage our schedules, break through the glass ceiling, spend quality time with our families, bring home the bacon (and fry it up in a pan) while bouncing children on our hips and creating warm and loving relationships with our husbands, in-laws, and colleagues, somehow, some way, we would be rewarded with the problem-free lives that had, up until then, eluded us.  We were wrong….

We learned that the problem-free life we sought was more than an illusion.  It had become a myth to which too many women had fallen victim.  A woman’s life is much more than success, having it all, or the elusive balance we all seek.  It is more than seeking perfection or conquering the world (although you might).  It is more than gritting your teeth and making it through.  It is about surviving and thriving.

For us, surviving and thriving meant reinventing, rebuilding, and realizing that success was never final and failure was never fatal.  It meant putting our best foot forward (Nike for some, Nine West for others) no matter what, and walking.  Walking forward looking like a pillar of success on the outside while that tiny voice inside reminded us that our teenagers were out of control, our job could end tomorrow, and our spouses, colleagues, and bosses had been untruthful, selfish, unfaithful, or just plain stupid.

Surviving and thriving meant taking what life offered up and looking for the opportunities, the joy, and the compassion in less-than-pleasant or less-than-perfect circumstances.

–Deborah Collins Stephens, Jackie Speier, Michealene Cristini Risley, and Jan Yanehiro, This Is Not the Life I Ordered, p. 18-19

Some Perspective

Life 0

Jesus’ life didn’t go well.  He didn’t reach his earning potential.  He didn’t have the respect of his colleagues.  His friends weren’t loyal.  His life wasn’t long.  He didn’t meet his soul mate.  And he wasn’t understood by his mother.  Yet I think I deserve all those things because I’m so spiritual.

— Hugh Prather, Spiritual Notes to Myself, p. 3

When You Fail

Healing, Inspiration, Life 0

When you fail (which you will), that doesn’t mean that you are a failure.  It simply means that you don’t do everything right.  We all have to accept the fact that along with strengths we also have weaknesses.  Just let Christ be strong in your weaknesses; let Him be your strength on your weak days.

— Joyce Meier, Battlefield of the Mind, p. 36

Reinvention

Life 0

The process of reinvention, we’ve learned, is best managed with humor, friendship, optimism, and a long-lasting high-beam flashlight to see the light at the end of every tunnel.

— Deborah Collins Stephens, Jackie Speier, Michealene Cristini Risley, and Jan Yanehiro, This Is Not the Life I Ordered, p. 16

Flexible Eyes

Life 0

Today, I will have flexible eyes.  I will plant myself strongly within the decision to look softly.  I will move through the day as if it had never occurred before.  I will set no judgment in place ahead of time.  Over and over, I will return to the fact that I have not had this particular day before.  I have never had this phone conversation, been in this crowd, looked at this sky, had this sensation.  I will observe how everyone and every circumstance is a little different now than they have ever been.  Each difference I see today will be a prize I collect — and by the end of the day, I will be wealthy in newness

— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 213

Contentment

Letting Go, Life, Peace 0

We must let our day, our week, our life come to us, rather than ceaselessly clawing to get the life we want.  Instead of focusing on what hasn’t been done for us, we must look more gently on the particular circumstances we find ourselves in at the moment and concentrate on experiencing stillness and peace where we are.

— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 209

The Vining Growth Plan

God, Life 0

The key thing to know about Martin Luther, I think, is that every event of his life — like every event in yours and mine — was part of the vining growth plan of ups and downs God had devised for him.  God frightened him, pushed him, wound him round the Word.  As with Noah and Hezekiah and Jonah and others, many of the downturns of Luther’s life happened toward the end, when you’d think he’d be past all that badness, past his humanness, a completely godly man, producing the fullest and most mellow fruit.  But it’s God’s plan, not ours, after all, and we are not his equal.  As Job points out, “Who can bring what is pure from the impure?  No one!” — no one except God, of course, who can do the impossible and did it with me and goes around doing it all the time.

— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer, p. 42-43

Relax

Letting Go, Life 0

As soon as we try to control anything, we split our mind and lose our sense of inner comfort.  We can change what we bring to the people and circumstances surrounding us, but we can’t dominate them.

Perhaps the only approach that comes remotely close to a rule of life is that when you are relaxed and flexible, you are happy; when you are rigid and controlling, you are unhappy.  Therefore, the key is actually to let go of our urge to get people to behave and events to go our way.

No matter how experienced the psychologist, how learned the theologian, how wise the philosopher, or how holy the saint, none of them can control a two-year-old.

— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 204

Get on With Your Life

God, Life, Trust 0

Charlyne and I want you to “get on with your life.”  You do that by loving Jesus more each day, praying more, growing in Him, and trusting God for your every need.  We want you to be confident that God will bring about what He has promised.

— Bob Steinkamp, The Prodigal’s Pen, p. 251-252