“Happiness is that simple. Once you discover what the Lord wants you to do, and you start doing it, you will achieve happiness….
“If God has told you to stand for marriage restoration, you will not be happy doing anything else.”
– Robert E. Steinkamp, The Prodigal’s Pen, p. 59
“In the history of humankind, no one has ever felt more lovable by hurting someone he loves.”
— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 41
“I believe God has exciting, interesting things in store for each of us. I believe there is an enjoyable, worthwhile purpose — besides taking care of people and being an appendage to someone — for each of us. I believe we tap into this attitude by taking care of ourselves. We begin to cooperate. We open ourselves up to the goodness and richness available in us and to us….
“Ultimately, we may even discover this astounding truth: Few situations in life are ever improved by not taking care of ourselves and not giving ourselves what we need. In fact, we may learn most situations are improved when we take care of ourselves and tend our needs.”
— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 104, 107
“The surest way to make ourselves crazy is to get involved in other people’s business, and the quickest way to become sane and happy is to tend to our own affairs.”
— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 103
“We obviously can’t let go if we are waiting to be saved. Certainly there are real victims, but most of us put ourselves in this role needlessly. And we do it every day.
“When our goal is to maintain our sense of wholeness and connectedness regardless of what the day throws at us, we simply will not become a victim. Nothing is ‘beyond our control’ because we are not interested in control. We let the people and situations we encounter be who and what they are. We are not motivated to reform or remake them. This doesn’t mean we like how everyone behaves, nor does it mean that we fail to protect ourselves and loved ones from destructive people. But if we commit ourselves to changing even pleasant people when they don’t want to change, we instantly become victims of their reactions. Each little response to our efforts pulls at the strings of our emotions.”
— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 8-9.
“Even if you choose not to continue your marriage, you still have to recover from the trauma you’ve been through. The road to recovery can be a stimulus for growth whether you travel it with your partner or you make your way alone. It’s a difficult road, but it is passable and well traveled for all its difficulties, and it’s important to know that it is there for you and anyone who wants to follow it.”
— Shirley P. Glass, NOT “Just Friends,” p. 12
“If we turn a bitter face to the world, for whatever reason, we can expect little else in return. If, however, we face adversity with a sense of humor and hold to a base of gratitude for what we have, we’re likely to find people responding to us in kind.”
— Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love, p. 50
“When he told us not to cast our pearls before swine, for example, it was not to be mean but because he knew that swine cannot digest pearls; they do them no good (Matt. 7:6). We, too, should have the good sense to refrain from giving people truth that they are not ready to receive, for it will do them no good.”
— Richard J. Foster, Prayer, p. 232
“The road to psychological ruin begins with blame.
“The road to psychological power begins with responsibility.
“You cannot blame and find good solutions at the same time….
“Blame is always about the past. Solutions must occur in the present and future.
“Blame obscures solutions by locking you into the problem and by focusing attention on damage, injury, defects, and weakness, on what is wrong. Blame makes you feel like a powerless victim.”
– Steven Stosny, The Powerful Self, p. 112
“God works against evil and suffering. But God, in immense divine power and inscrutable divine wisdom, also works through evil and suffering.”
–Miroslav Volf, Free of Charge:Â Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace, p. 30