Another Look at Endings

Gratitude, Growth, Letting Go, Relationships 0

The truth is that although endings always involve us in pain, whatever comes into our lives and transforms us is to be celebrated. We don’t curse the person who brings us a bouquet of flowers because a few days later the flowers wilt and we have to throw them away. We celebrate the gift and think it is appropriate to say, “Thank you.” We’re glad to have had a chance to enjoy the bouquet as long as it lasted….

Whenever a relationship is given to us, we need to be grateful and rejoice. Even when a relationship ends, we should celebrate the fact that something has been exchanged that has been of value to both people. When we come to the end of our journey together, we should acknowledge that we are being delivered to the next place in our lives much more safe or whole, more at ease, or more expanded and complete as persons than we were when we entered the relationship. The selves who made the union are in much better condition at its end, even though the suffering and confusion of the ending often make this difficult to see.

If we look only at the relationship, then we must grieve; but if we look at the individuals who loved one another, then we can celebrate. Along with saying that the relationship has ended — something is gone — we should tell ourselves that something wonderful has been accomplished. What we have at the end of a relationship is two transformed human beings, people who have changed so much that they are now ready for the next miraculous stage of their personal development.

— Daphne Rose Kingma, Coming Apart,, p. 54-55

Strength

Growth, Trials 0

Strength does not come after one climbs the ladder or the mountain, nor after one “makes it” — whatever that “it” represents. Strengthening oneself is essential to the process of striving — especially before and during — as well as after. It is my belief that attention to and devotion to the nature of soul represents the quintessential strength.

— Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With the Wolves, p. 516

Beautiful Individuality

Core Value, God, Growth, Letting Go 0

Who will I be if I seek only to do God’s will? Will I become homogenized, somehow diluted? A look at the natural world is reassuring here. Each flower — the crocus, the lotus, the delphinium, to name only a few — has its own unique essence. Roses, daffodils, daisies, peopnies, chrysanthemums — each has its individual beauty. Dogs, too, come in all shapes and sizes: Rottweilers, cocker spaniels, Rhodesian ridgebacks, Pomeranians, German shepherds, Irish setters, Jack Russell terriers, golden Labradors. The natural world, surrendered to God from the very beginning, is filled with diversity. Each creature is its own imprint, a unique manifestation of the glory of God. So, too, we are unique. That uniqueness does not diminish as we move toward God in surrender.

As we move toward God, our natural individuality becomes more vivid.

— Julia Cameron, Faith and Will, p. 44

Surrender

Faith, Letting Go, Prayer, Trials 0

In order to find a silver lining, we must be willing to look for one. At the very least, we must be willing to recognize one when it appears. We must be willing to be comforted in order to be comforted. We must maintain an openness to spiritual realities. We must be teachable in order that we may be taught. It is for this reason that the great prayer is “Thy will be done.” The surrendering of our independent spirits to a higher good makes it possible to find a path through darkness. “Thy will be done, O Lord. Thy will be done.” This is the prayer of the dark night of the soul. This is the prayer of surrender.

— Julia Cameron, Faith and Will, p. 43

The Protection of Tears

Healing, Letting Go, Trials 0

There are times in a woman’s life when she cries and cries and cries, and even though she has the succor and support of her loved ones, still and yet she cries. Something in this crying keeps the predator away, keeps away unhealthy desire or gain that will ruin her. Tears are part of the mending of rips in the psyche where energy has leaked and leaked away. The matter is serious, but the worst does not occur — our light is not stolen — for tears make us conscious. There is no chance to go back to sleep when one is weeping. Whatever sleep comes then is only rest for the physical body.

Sometimes a woman says, “I am sick of crying, I am tired of it, I want it to stop.” But it is her soul that is making tears, and they are her protection. So she must keep on till the time of need is over. Some women marvel at all the water their bodies can produce when they weep. This will not last forever, only till the soul is done with its wise expression.

— Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD, Women Who Run With the Wolves, p. 437