Bliss

Joy, Life 0

If we are not practiced in saying yes to life, then we can forget about bliss — we just want relief! Relief from our hectic lives, from our negative self-talk, from our perpetual fatigue. I used to think that I just had the thermostat set too low, at Relief, and that with a little more practice, I would easily move on up to Bliss. Instead, it turns out that the road to bliss and the road to relief head in completely different directions.

Relief isn’t much; it’s only an interruption of discomfort. It leads to a nice rest stop with a turnaround that plops you right back on the same road. Bliss, however, is the superhighway to the juiciness of life. As my musician friends Bev Daugherty and Garnett Hundley sing, “Live flat out, eat it all up with a spoon!” Having a high bliss tolerance means you’re willing to be pleased by life. And the better it gets, the more you can stand. In this scenario, you anticipate benevolence and are expanded by your experience. When you are consistently grateful, it’s impossible to feel like a victim; you know that no matter how well it may be disguised, you can find the blessing in whatever’s going on.

— Victoria Castle, The Trance of Scarcity, p. 140

An Explanation

Life, Relationships 0

The general rule to remember is that when we’re scared, we’re scary, and when we’re scary, we’re usually scared. If someone seems strangely opposed to your actions, even though you’re motivated purely by good intentions and are doing nothing that could possibly injure him, rest assured that person is afraid. This does not excuse violent or malicious behavior; it just explains it. A common psychological error you’ll find in movies and television is that the evil people on the screen are often depicted as knowing they’re evil and feeling powerful in their destructiveness. In real life, people who perpetrate evil virtually always see themselves as victims, forced by circumstances to “defend themselves” by attacking others.

— Martha Beck, Steering by Starlight, p. 193

The Place We’d Rather Live

Compassion, Forgiveness, Healing 0

In the aftermath of catastrophic wounds, an obsessive, demonizing hatred may be mobilized to help us survive. And yet here, too, understanding eventually becomes the desirable thing, if for no other reason than we don’t want to keep feeling like victims and living in hate. It rarely hurts us to be more generous. In many cases, even if the grievousness of the wrong is never acknowledged or atoned for, we may want to feel our way back to a caring place. It’s the place we’d rather live.

— Robert Karen, PhD, The Forgiving Self, p. 175-176

A Greater Purpose

Growth, Life 0

Your life is brimming with opportunities to learn about emotional freedom. Every success. Every heartbreak. Every loss. Every gain. How you transport yourself through these portals determines how free you can be. I want you to start viewing your emotions in a nonordinary way: as vehicles for transformation (the word emotion comes from the Latin meaning “to move”) rather than simply as feelings that make you happy or miserable. Expect them to test your heart; that’s the point. What you go through — what we all go through — has a greater purpose. Always, the imperative of emotional freedom is for the love in us to evolve. Albert Camus says, “Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better.” To make this a reality, you must begin to see each event of your life, uplifting or hurtful, earthshaking or mundane, as a chance to grow stronger, smarter, more light-bearing.

But here’s where many of us hit a wall. We’re ashamed of feeling afraid, inadequate, lonely, as if we’ve failed or done something wrong. None of these conclusions are true. It’s a misguided expectation that we’re supposed to be serene all the time. A depressed patient once apologized, “I wish I could be coming to you for something more spiritual.” I felt for him, but like so many people in pain with that commonly held perception, he was mistaken. Facing emotions — all of them — is a courageous, spiritually transformative act.

— Judith Orloff, MD, Emotional Freedom, p. 16-17

God Can Redeem Anything.

God, Guidance, Healing, Marriage 0

Our experience has taught us that God can redeem anything, so we never give up on anyone….

What we wanted to do with this book was offer hope for marriages through a paradigm shift. It comes from taking a different perspective — getting your eyes off yourself and putting them on the Lord.

We have a passionate desire to see marriages changed, made whole, and restored. Our prayer is that more and more marriages will epitomize God’s plan, not society’s. Although the world seems to hold virtually no hope for marriages and families being restored, we want to spread the word that “by his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope” (Ephesians 3:20, NLT). It is possible for a marriage to be made brand-new!

If you can trust God to show you the bigger picture of your marriage, he will do it. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” In other words, he will direct you and make it clear where you are to go.

— Cheryl & Jeff Scruggs, I Do Again, p. 178, 183

Remembering Truth

Core Value, Joy, Life, Truth 0

To be happy, it’s good to make a point of knowing what it is in your life that helps you remember truth. What is it that helps you to love, to be real, to be free? What is it that helps you wake up from the slumber of your conditioning? As for myself, I love the sounds of laughter and friendship. I love to look at the stars, to walk in nature, to listen to the river’s song, to smell the heavenly scent of stargazer lilies, to watch a roaring fire, to feel its warmth and see its light. I love to be still, to smile, to meditate, and to pray. How about you?

— Robert Holden, PhD, Happiness Now! p. 24-25

Working Out for Good

Forgiveness, Gratitude, Growth, Healing, Joy, Letting Go, Life, Peace, Truth 0

Noticing and counting the beautiful reasons unexpected things happen for us ends the mystery. If you miss the real reasons, the benevolent reasons that coincide with kind nature, then count on depression to let you know that you missed them. Anger, frustration, and aggressive reasons can always be imagined — and what for? People who aren’t interested in seeing why everything is good get to be right. But that apparent rightness comes with disgruntlement, and often depression and separation. Depression can feel serious. So “counting the genuine ways that this unexpected event happened for me, rather than to me” isn’t a game. It’s an exercise in observing the nature of life. It’s a way of putting yourself back into reality, into the kindness of the nature of things.

— Byron Katie, I Need Your Love — Is That True?, p. 187

Escaping Judgmentalism

Gratitude, Growth, Love, Relationships 0

Being judgmental is a habit, and it can be changed….

Training ourselves to feel and then express unconditional love, the antidote to judgment, is possible, particularly with God’s help. We can choose to bring God into our minds whenever we find ourselves in the act of judging; this changes our experience and our perspective instantly. Practicing gratitude is another simple way to escape from the habit of being judgmental.

Let’s try to remember that we choose all our relationships for the lessons they bring. Being willing to accept these lessons and the people who bring them can change our minds from judgment to love and acceptance.

— Karen Casey, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow, p. 139

Noticing

Gratitude, Life 0

How often do you take time to notice the wonders of the natural world on a daily basis — the rainbow after a storm, the birds frolicking around your bird feeder, or the silvery brilliance of a full moon? Gratitude is slowing down your pace, opening up your senses to the world around you, and feeling the impact such awareness has in how you feel and how you then live the next moment of your life.

— Amy E. Dean in Gratitude: A Way of Life, by Louise L. Hay and Friends, p. 60-61