Boundaries Decrease Anger.

As you develop better boundaries, you have less need for anger.  This is because in many cases, anger was the only boundary you had.  Once you have your no intact, you no longer need the “rage signal.”  You can see evil coming your way and prevent it from harming you by your boundaries.

Don’t fear the rage you discover when you first begin your boundary development.  It is the protest of earlier parts of your soul.  Those parts need to be unveiled, understood, and loved by God and people.  And then you need to take responsibility for healing them and developing better boundaries.

This brings us to an important point about anger:  The more biblical our boundaries are, the less anger we experience!  Individuals with mature boundaries are the least angry people in the world.  While those who are just beginning boundary work see their anger increase, this passes as boundaries grow and develop.

Why is this?  Remember the “early warning system” function of anger.  We feel it when we are violated.  If you can prevent boundary violation in the first place, you don’t need the anger.  You are more in control of your life and values.

— Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend, Boundaries, p. 114-115

What Will Happen

“To know what would have happened, child?” said Aslan.  “No.  Nobody is ever told that.”

“Oh dear,” said Lucy.

“But anyone can find out what will happen,” said Aslan.  “If you go back to the others now, and wake them up; and tell them you have seen me again; and that you must all get up at once and follow me — what will happen?  There is only one way of finding out.”

— C. S. Lewis, Prince Caspian, p. 142-143

Happiness After Loss

Happy women know that no one gets to be happy all the time.

There’s no getting around it.  If you love, you will lose.  But that doesn’t mean being sentenced to a life of unhappiness.  Be patient, take the time you need, and allow the grief to help you discover new independence and a fresh outlook on things.

There is tremendous wisdom that is accumulated after loss.  Healing takes place when we can turn our pain into something meaningful. . . .  Take time to do things that will bring renewed meaning to your life.

— Dan Baker, PhD, and Cathy Greenberg, PhD, What Happy Women Know, p. 173

The Forgiving Father

We are so familiar with the Parable of the Prodigal Son that we forget part of the message, and that is the response of the elder brother.  As I read and reread Scripture it seems evident that God is far more loving than we are, and for more forgiving.  We do not want God to forgive our enemies, but Scripture teaches us that all God wants is for us to repent, to say, “I’m sorry, Father.  Forgive me,” as the Prodigal Son does when he comes to himself and recognizes the extent of his folly and wrongdoing.  And the father rejoices in his return.

Then there’s the elder brother.  We don’t like to recognize ourselves in the elder brother who goes off and sulks because the father, so delighted at the return of the younger brother, prepares a great feast.  Punishment?  A party!  Because the younger brother has learned the lesson he has, in a sense, already punished himself.  But, like the elder brother, we’re apt to think the father much too lenient.

— Madeleine L’Engle, And It Was Good, quoted by Carole F. Chase in Glimpses of Grace, p. 144-145

No Unforgivable People

There are no unforgivable people.

Should we forgive even those who refuse to repent?  Consider once again God’s forgiveness, which serves as a model for ours.  There are people who think that in relation to God, repentance comes before forgiveness.  But that can’t be right.  God doesn’t angrily refuse forgiveness until we show ourselves worthy of it by repentance.  Instead, God loves us and forgives us before we repent.  Indeed, before we even sinned, Jesus Christ died for our sins.  God’s forgiveness is not reactive — dependent on our repentance.  It’s original, preceded and conditioned by absolutely nothing on our part.  We can do nothing to become worthy of it for the same reason we can do nothing to earn any of God’s gifts.  Before we do anything, before we even exist, God’s giving and God’s forgiving are already there, free of charge.  God doesn’t give and forgive conditionally.  God’s giving and forgiving are as unconditional as the sun’s rays and as indiscriminate as raindrops.  One died for all.  Absolutely no one is excluded.

Why should we forgive unconditionally and indiscriminately?  We don’t do it simply because a law demands we do so.  We forgive because God has already forgiven.  For us to hold any offender captive to sin by refusing to forgive is to reject the reality of God’s forgiving grace.  Because Christ died for all, we are called to forgive everyone who offends us, without distinctions and without conditions.  That hard work of indiscriminate forgiveness is what those who’ve been made in the likeness of the forgiving God should do.  And . . . that hard work of forgiveness is what those who’ve “put on Christ” are able to do.

— Miroslav Volf, Free of Charge, p. 179-180

The Truth of Myth

Nonetheless, myth is the closest approximation to truth available to the finite human being.  And the truth of myth is not limited by time or place.  A myth tells of that which was true, is true, and will be true.  If we will allow it, myth will integrate intellect and intuition, night and day; our warring opposites are reconciled, male and female, spirit and flesh, desire and will, pain and joy, life and death.

— Madeleine L’Engle, The Irrational Season, quoted by Carole F. Chase in Glimpses of Grace, p. 143