Forgiveness as Acceptance
The ability to remain at peace when you do not get what you want is forgiveness…. When you want something different from what you actually get, you are always in…
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10 Posts
Your Best Revenge
Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who hurt you power over you, learn to…
Don’t Get Stuck on the Grievance Channel
Our hurt feelings are important, but we help ourselves to remember they will pass. I work with many people who struggle to trust their good feelings. They are more comfortable…
The Gratitude Channel
The world is full of things to appreciate and find beautiful. The challenge is to teach ourselves how to look. The forgiveness and gratitude channels remind us that even though…
Taking Responsibility for Our Own Feelings
I want to make clear that taking responsibility for how you feel does not mean that what happened is your fault. You did not cause your parents to hurt you…
Give Space to the Good
The third benefit from forgiveness emerges as we give more love and care to the important people in our lives. I know from my own experience and those of many…
Give Yourself a Break
It is important to be gentle with and accepting of yourself throughout your relationship. You are just as flawed, misguided, and hurtful as your lover, and you both need a…
Opportunities for Practice
Your marriage gives you untold opportunities to practice kinder speech and more forgiving attitudes. Your lover will be gracious enough to challenge your assumptions and courageous enough to be different…
Positive Intention
Positive intention is shorthand for talking about why you want your relationship to succeed, or what you are going to do to make it work, or how you can grow…
Speaking to Others with Kindness
Whenever possible, you want to speak of your lover and your relationship with kindness. That is the overarching message of this book. Look for any way you can be kind…