Story
What is a story but a golden lie that speaks the truth?
— Joel ben Izzy, The Beggar King and the Secret of Happiness
Resentment vs. Compassion
Most human beings subjected to the amplification, magnification, and oversimplification of resentment or anger get resentful, contentious, or sulky in return, just like you do. Resentment and anger also cause you to focus only on your own perspective, to the exclusion of everyone else’s….
On the other hand, compassion not only keeps you from avoiding and attacking, it also motivates behavior to improve, appreciate, connect, or protect, all of which are likely to make things better…. Compassion is power.
— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 167-169
The Purpose of Emotional Pain
Emotional pain moves you to do something that will make you feel more alive, not numb. The primary purpose of emotional pain is to make us take action to increase the value of our lives. The purpose of guilt, shame, and anxiety is to get you to be more loving and protective. They hurt us until we act with love and compassion.
— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 163
The Future
People who feel good about themselves are not easily threatened by the future.
— Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love, p. 177
Real Power
Real power is acting in your best interests, and your long-term emotional best interests depend entirely on acting according to your deepest values. If you do that, you will feel valuable and powerful at the same time.
— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 160
Compassion
When we are compassionate, we become more realistic in our expectations, less demanding, and more flexible. We are less likely to inflict wounds, hurt feelings, and indulge in recriminations…. When we make the compassionate choice, we enhance the dignity of each individual, which is the very essence of loving them.
— Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love, p. 176
Breaking the Chain of Resentment
The first thing to realize about the terrible Chain of Resentment is that you don’t have to feel it. The experience of resentment is a choice you make.
The second thing to realize is that the Chain of Resentment binds the self more than anyone else. Breaking the chain of resentment means unburdening the self, setting the self free.
No one can just “let go” of resentment. You can resolve resentment only by investing more value in your life. The more you value, the less you will resent. The more compassionate you are, the less you are able to resent.
— Steven Stosny, Manual of the Core Value Workshop, p. 74.
Positivity
“You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.”
— Joyce Meyer, Battlefield of the Mind, p. 27
Intellectual Freedom
Bad thought made freely available is rendered sterile.
— Michael Gorman, quoting Ranganathan in Our Singular Strengths:Â Meditations for Librarians, p. 25
Real Power
Real personal power comes from focusing on what you can control, from acting in your best interests. You feel empowered when you control how you behave, in accordance with your deepest values.
— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 152