“The opposite of a worried mind is not a foolish mind, but a still mind. The simple, observable fact is that a worried mind is busy, cluttered, and scattered, whereas a still mind is more capable of broad, steady awareness, if for no other reason than it is less distracted.”
— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 35
“I believe that clutching tightly to a person or thing, or forcing my will on any given situation eliminates the possibility of my Higher Power doing anything constructive about that situation, the person, or me. My controlling blocks God’s power. It blocks other people’s ability to grow.”
— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 74
“You are not responsible for making other people ‘see the light,’ and you do not need to ‘set them straight.’ You are responsible for helping yourself see the light and for setting yourself straight.”
— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 67-68
“If people don’t want to be with us or act healthy, it is not a reflection on our self-worth. It reflects on their present circumstances. By practicing detachment we can lessen our destructive reactions to the world around us. Separate yourself from things. Leave things alone, and let people be who they are. Who are you to say that the interruption, mood, word, bad day, thought, or problem is not an important and necessary part of life? Who are you to say that this problem won’t ultimately be beneficial to you or someone else?”
— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 65
“The rewards from detachment are great: serenity; a deep sense of peace; the ability to give and receive love in self-enhancing, energizing ways; and the freedom to find real solutions to our problems. We find the freedom to live our own lives without excessive feelings of guilt about, or responsibility toward others. Sometimes detachment even motivates and frees people around us to begin to solve their problems. We stop worrying about them, and they pick up the slack and finally start worrying about themselves. What a grand plan! We each mind our own business.”
— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 57
“Those in our lives who make the most meaningful and enduring contributions to who we are have dared to take their place among equals. The world stares in amazement at the glittering adornments of the ego, but only those who walk beside us in love and equality reach our hearts and transform us.”
–Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 20
We release our burdens and cares, and give ourselves the freedom to enjoy life in spite of our unsolved problems. We trust that all is well in spite of the conflicts. We trust that Someone greater than ourselves knows, has ordained, and cares about what is happening. We understand that this Someone can do much more to solve the problem than we can. So we try to stay out of His way and let Him do it. In time, we know that all is well because we see how the strangest (and sometimes most painful) things work out for the best and for the benefit of everyone.”
— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 57
“There are only three things you need to let go of: judging, controlling, and being right. Release these three, and you will have the whole mind and twinkly heart of a child”
— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 17
“Detachment involves ‘present moment living’ — living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it. We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day.”
— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 56
“The process of letting go of your more destructive emotions and darker impulses does not require tight control of the subject matter of your thoughts, although most people think it does. In fact, it doesn’t require control of your thoughts or feelings in any way. You are not at war with circumstances, your behavior, other people’s behavior, your feelings, other people’s feelings, your thoughts, or other people’s thoughts. You simply are not at war. It is just the reverse. Letting go is freedom. When you find yourself in a useless battle, you merely walk off the battlefield.”
— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 10