Statement of Core Value

Compassion, Core Value 0

“I am worthy of respect, value, and compassion, whether or not I get them from others.  If I don’t get them from others, it is necessary to feel more worthy, not less.  It is necessary to affirm my own deep value as a unique person (a child of God).  I respect and value myself.  I have compassion for my hurt.  I have compassion for the hurt of others.  I trust myself to act in my best interests and in the best interests of loved ones.”

— Steven Stosny, Manual of the Core Value Workshop, p. 14

Core Value

Core Value 0

“Core Value is an emotional awareness that no problem, behavior, or event can reduce your value as a person….

“The impulse to control or harm tells you that your Core Value is too low….

“People experience Core Value most frequently as motivation to improve, appreciate, protect, or connect.”

— Steven Stosny, Manual of the Core Value Workshop, p. 14

A Word from God

Guidance, Inspiration, Prayer 0

“When reading the Bible, people commonly experience a special ‘word in the Word,’ in which a particular passage seems to apply to an individual situation in a new way….  This ‘quickening of the Word’ encourages us that God is near and deeply interested in the particular circumstances of our lives.”

— Richard J. Foster, Prayer:  Finding the Heart’s True Home, p. 137

Control is an Illusion.

Letting Go, Life 0

“I’m here to say we can’t control anything.  This is why being single doesn’t give us independence, why having personal wealth doesn’t give us protection, why having raised our children doesn’t set us free, or any of the zillion other conclusions our culture draws from the assumption that the key to control is to rely on ourselves first.”

— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 107

Your Core Value

Core Value, Healing 0

Please understand that what other people do to you is not about you.  You heal and grow by acknowledging that the most important things about you are your inherent value as a person, along with your strengths, talents, skills, competence, resilience, compassion, and personal power.”

— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 69

A Gift

Letting Go, Life, Trials 0

“Although not knowing may itself seem like a bad thing, I am convinced it is one of the great gifts of the dark night of the soul.  To be immersed in mystery can be very distressing at first, but over time I have found immense relief in it.  It takes the pressure off.  I no longer have to worry myself to death about what I did right or wrong to cause a good or a bad experience — because there really is no way of knowing.  I don’t have to look for spiritual lessons in every trouble that comes along.  There have been many spiritual lessons to be sure, but they’ve been given to me in the course of life; I haven’t had to figure out a single one.”

— Gerald G. May, The Dark Night of the Soul, p. 15

Not a Communication Problem

Compassion, Core Value, Relationships 0

“It is nearly impossible to understand other people’s perspectives when you’re angry or resentful.  You never have a complete view of a negotiation, even when your part is factually right.

“It’s not a communication problem.  You’re not capable of seeing their side.

“Anger and resentment amplify and magnify only the negative aspect of something, which blows it out of proportion and takes it out of context.

“Anger and resentment make you oversimplify and see only one negative aspect of something.  Even if you are right in your appraisal of that negative aspect, you are oversimplifying when you’re resentful or angry.

“The person you’re angry at will not see that you are right as long as he or she feels devalued.

“You can’t be defensive and listen at the same time.”

— Steven Stosny, Compassion Power Boot Camp