Remembering the Good
We continue to hold our grudges when we do not keep our lovers’ goodness front and center. When we forgive our partners, we see more than just the harm they…
We continue to hold our grudges when we do not keep our lovers’ goodness front and center. When we forgive our partners, we see more than just the harm they…
When our lovers offer us goodness or kindness, it is because they choose to do it. They don’t have to be good or kind, and their gift is the fact…
The thing that cripples relationships is focusing more on their flaws than on their loving or their goodness. This misplaced attention makes no sense and underlies many of our difficulties…
Once you’ve identified your unenforceable rule, you need to figure out how to hold on to the enforceable desire and get rid of the unenforceable demand. Hoping that things will…
The problem comes when we forget that what we hope for is not the same as what we need or have the power to compel. Unenforceable rules warp our judgment. …
Nearly all relationship problems begin when our partners break an unenforceable rule. Your frustrated attempt to enforce such a rule is at the root of your anger toward your loved…
You still need to be open with your partner about the things he or she does that are hurtful, offensive, or selfish. You don’t have to be a martyr about…
I am trying to remind you to be humble about your own flaws and to remember that you too regularly require forgiveness. If you want a successful relationship, you need…
The next step in this process is to honor without resentment the flawed nature of the human being with whom you share your life. By definition, you are with someone who…
If you only want to be involved in relationships that you are able to control, then you should think seriously of getting a house full of pets instead of a…