The Crux of Christianity

What matters most to me is that God had that son to begin with.  And that he has other sons and daughters like me that he loves and doesn’t want to be parted from.  That he loves his children as I love my own daughters, only more so, with a hot, knowing, parental love that says, “Be who you are, but love me back.  Only love me back.”

— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer, p. 8

Recovery

“Getting our balance and keeping it once we have found it is what recovery is all about.  If that sounds like a big order, don’t worry.  We can do it.  We can learn to live again.  We can learn to love again.  We can even learn to have fun at the same time.”

— Melody Beattie, Codependent Do More, p. 214

Living Single

“It’s okay to be in a relationship, but it’s also okay to not be in a relationship.  Find friends to love, be loved by, and who think we are worthwhile.  Love ourselves and know we are worthwhile.  Use our time alone as a breather.  Let go.  Learn the lessons we are to be learning.  Grow.  Develop.  Work on ourselves, so when love comes along, it enhances a full and interesting life.  Love shouldn’t be the concern of our whole life or an escape from an unpleasant life.  Strive toward goals.  Have fun.  Trust God and His timing.  He cares and knows about all our needs and wants.”

— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 213-214

Avoiding Manipulation

“When we give up something for someone we love, no matter how great the sacrifice, there can be no conditions.  What we do, we do because we will it, free of implications of future payment, or debt, or guilt.  Only in this way is sacrifice a healthy manifestation of love.”

— Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love, p. 119

Growing in Love

“To continue to grow in love is a joyous and mystical journey, full of new insight, excitement and surprise.  The eventual payoff, though it may not offer us all of the answers, is well worth the trip.”

— Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love, p. 118

The Mirror of Love

“I’m convinced that we use resentment and anger to punish loved ones, not so much for their behavior as for the pain we feel from our reflections in the mirror of love.  In other words, it’s what we take their behavior to mean about us that causes us distress, resentment, and anger.”

— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 48