The Flip Side of Forgiveness

“The road to psychological ruin begins with blame.

“The road to psychological power begins with responsibility.

“You cannot blame and find good solutions at the same time….

“Blame is always about the past.  Solutions must occur in the present and future.

“Blame obscures solutions by locking you into the problem and by focusing attention on damage, injury, defects, and weakness, on what is wrong.  Blame makes you feel like a powerless victim.”

– Steven Stosny, The Powerful Self, p. 112

Seeing Clearly

“Often the only way to look clearly at this extraordinary universe is through fantasy, fairy tale, myth.”

–Madeleine L’Engle, Margaret A. Edwards Award Acceptance Speech, June 27, 1998.

Quoted in Journal of Youth Services in Libraries, Volume 12, no. 1, Fall 1998.

Letting Go

“I’ve found that when you give up on using your mind to solve a problem–which your mind is holding on to like a dog with a chew toy–writing it down helps turn off the terrible alertness.  When you’re not siphoned into the black hole of worried control and playing fretful Savior, turning the problem over to God or the elves in the glove compartment harnesses something in the universe that is bigger than you, and that just might work.”

–Anne Lamott, Grace (Eventually), p. 27

“Sometimes, when you’re lucky, you get to a point where you’re sick of a problem, or worn down by tinkering with it, or clutching it.  And letting it go, maybe writing it down and sending it away, buys you some time and space, so maybe freedom and humor sneak in–which is probably what you were praying for all along.”

–Anne Lamott, Grace (Eventually), p. 32

Meaning in Pain

“I finally figured out that I had a choice:  I could suffer a great deal, or not, or for a long time.  Or I could have the combo platter:  suffer, breathe, pray, play, cry, and try to help people.  There was meaning in pain; it taught you how to survive with a modicum of grace when you did not get what you wanted.”

–Anne Lamott, Grace (Eventually):  Thoughts on Faith