Not a Communication Problem
“It is nearly impossible to understand other people’s perspectives when you’re angry or resentful. You never have a complete view of a negotiation, even when your part is factually right.…
Search Results for: Steven Stosny
10 Posts
Getting Cooperation
“When people feel valued, they cooperate, when they feel devalued, they either resist or submit with resentment.” — Steven Stosny, Compassion Power Boot Camp
Your Choice
“Everything you resent, you could feel compassionate about.” — Steven Stosny, Compassion Power Boot Camp
The Purpose of Guilt and Shame
“Shame is a necessary motivator to help you act according to your values. Guilt and shame are not punishments; they are motivators. You don’t need a defense against shame, if…
A Rule of Relationships
“We like to cooperate, but hate to be controlled.” — Steven Stosny, Compassion Power Boot Camp, September 28, 2007
True Power
“Blame makes you powerless. “Responsibility gives you the power to make your life better…. “To grow and heal, you must remove the magnifying glass from others, and focus it exclusively…
Incompatible Emotional States
“It’s not possible to feel loving or worthy of love at the same time that you feel resentful or angry–they are incompatible emotional states; you can feel one and then…
The Mirror of Love
“I’m convinced that we use resentment and anger to punish loved ones, not so much for their behavior as for the pain we feel from our reflections in the mirror…
A Sad Defense Against Feelings of Inadequacy
“In the history of humankind, no one has ever felt more lovable by hurting someone he loves.” — Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 41
The Secret to Loving Adequately
“To love adequately, you have to tolerate feeling inadequate.” — Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 40