Living in the Present

Forgiveness, Joy, Letting Go 0

However we perceive the past, whether in a positive or a negative light, concentrating on it makes us unhappier in the present.  The past is past.

Through deliberate present-minded focus we can breathe in new life, new positive energy, letting go of the way things were in the past.  When we grow more mindful, we open our hearts to forgiveness and choose not to get bogged down in placing blame or getting even with others.  When we let go of the past, we gain in wisdom.  We feel lighter and brighter, inspired by what we’ve learned, ready to move on.

— Alexandra Stoddard, Choosing Happiness:  Keys to a Joyful Life, p. 14

Redemption

Core Value, Forgiveness, Love 0

Love means the ability to identify with imperfection and to recognize the inadequacies, weaknesses, fears and confusion in ourselves and others.  Loving what is unlovable in them is always a challenge.  It’s so much easier to dismiss people for their failings than it is to stick by them.  I wonder why it is that we are more prone to finding fatal flaws than looking for redeeming qualities?

— Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love, p. 217

God’s Gift

Forgiveness, God, Healing 0

We are the children of God, every one of us, and nearly nineteen hundred years ago He gave us the greatest of all the gifts He has, greater even than life.  He gave us hope:  a way back from every mistake we have made, no matter how small or how large, how ugly or how incredibly stupid, or how shameful.  There is no corner of hell secret enough or deep enough for there to be no path back, if we are willing to climb up.  It may be hard, and steep, but there is a light ahead, and freedom.

— Dominic Corde, in A Christmas Secret, by Anne Perry

Guilt and Shame

Core Value, Forgiveness, Healing 0

Learn to recognize the difference between shame and guilt.  Guilt is believing that what we did isn’t okay.  Authentic guilt is valuable.  It’s a signal that we’ve violated our own, or a universal, moral code.  It keeps us honest, healthy, and on track.  Shame is worthless.  Shame is the belief that whether what we did is okay or not, who we are isn’t.  Guilt is resolvable.  We make amends for what we did, learn from our mistake, and attempt to correct our behavior.  Shame isn’t resolvable.  It leaves us with a sense that all we can do is apologize for our existence, and even that falls short of what’s needed….

If we feel ashamed because we’ve done something we feel guilty about, we convert shame to guilt, then make any appropriate amends and change our behavior.  If we decide shame is trying to enforce an unhealthy, inappropriate message on us, we change the message.  If we feel ashamed about something we cannot or need not change, we surrender to the situation and give ourselves a big hug.

— Melody Beattie, Beyond Codependency, p. 107-110

 

Out Endure the Ego

Forgiveness 0

Forgiveness is the decision to out endure the ego.  Therefore, don’t try to forgive for all time; just forgive in the moment.  Two minutes from now the grievance may come back.  Simply forgive again in the moment.  If you keep surrounding someone in the light, soon your ego — which hates light — will stop handing you the grudge.

— Hugh Prather, Spiritual Notes to Myself, p. 21

For Me

Forgiveness 0

Forgiveness isn’t something nice I do for someone who is “guilty.”  Forgiveness is something nice I do for my own mind.  Do I want a mind that tortures me or one that is a friend to me?

— Hugh Prather, Spiritual Notes to Myself, p. 19

Little Tests

Forgiveness, God, Life 0

Our life unfolds as if God were showing us a slide show, and each slide is a little test.  God says, “Can you forgive this?”  If the answer is no, God simply moves the slide back for us to view again later.

— Hugh Prather, Spiritual Notes to Myself, p. 18