Replacing Resentment

Forgiveness, Love, Relationships 0

When we finally stop resenting the person we live with, we almost inevitably find that love blossoms in our lives.  Happiness will grow in your relationship as forgiveness replaces resentment.  The less resentment you hold toward your partner, the more love you will experience.  The cost to your relationship in diminished love and happiness is the same whether you resent your partner for snoring or for leaving the toilet seat up.  You will experience the same problems whether you resent your partner for something he or she did yesterday or for something from five years ago.  The cost is always diminished love in your heart and a greater hurt in your partner’s.  We pay a huge cost when we do not know how to forgive….

People who don’t know how to forgive think that being resentful is a normal state to be in….  With forgiveness we release the constriction we have placed on our hearts and love our partners for exactly who they are.

— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 79-81

A Reservoir of Love

Children, Forgiveness, Love, Relationships 0

There may be some people in your life for whom you feel such love that you are already at stage four:  openhearted and ready to forgive.  Many of you, for instance, already feel forgiving toward your children.  Forgiving them does not mean that you approve of all that they do, but rather that you can acknowledge they have hurt you without making them your enemy.  You have a reservoir of love to draw upon that allows you to forgive them.  Once you forgive your children, you can let the insults go and work with them to resolve the problems.

— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 75

The Love We Crave

Forgiveness, Love, Marriage 0

Forgiving a specific wrong reduces the stress and hostility that stems from an unresolved hurt, but becoming a truly forgiving husband or wife creates a marriage that surpasses what you ever hoped it would be.  When you decide to really forgive your partner, you create an opening into a deep and sustaining love.  Experiencing and giving that deep love is what we all crave when we enter into a relationship.  That love is what we deny ourselves when we spend our lives criticizing our lovers and complaining about all the ways in which they do not measure up to our standards….

Love is what happens when you stop creating stress by arguing about the imperfections of the person you married.  That does not mean you like everything your spouse does or that you don’t talk to your spouse about things.  You are still going to have specific problems that require forgiveness, but thankfully those will be rare.  Forgiveness allows the love to flourish and to not be corroded by your resentments and complaints.

— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 51-52

New Depths

Forgiveness, Joy, Love, Peace 0

When we choose to forgive others, even when they are not broken themselves, God pours out freedom, grace, peace, joy, love — and even forgiveness itself into our hearts.  It takes your breath away when you experience it yourself.  It takes you to depths with God that you never could have reached except through this mysterious path.

— testimonial quoted in Choosing Forgiveness, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, p. 141

Enriching the Universe

Compassion, Life, Love 0

We enrich the universe with something far more valuable than money when we contribute love.  One act of caring may have more effect, more power than we can realize; here finding entry into a lonely heart, there encouraging and giving hope to a confused mind.  The universal love story is written line by line with simple acts of loving people doing a kindness for someone who’s having a hard time.

— Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love

Let me sow love.

Forgiveness, Love 0

You need to realize that when you sow the love of God, you will reap the love of God.  You need to develop faith in this spiritual law — even though you may not harvest it from the field in which you sowed, or as quickly as you would like.

— John Bevere, The Bait of Satan:  Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense, p. 14-15

Focusing on Possibility

Joy, Life, Love 0

Lovers always focus away from negativity, to beauty, goodness, and joy.  Though they are aware of the dark side of life, they avoid gravitating to it.  Obsession with what is wrong with the world assures our blindness to what is good and right.  On the other hand, solutions become more visible in the light of possibilities.

Beauty and goodness are successful forces against ugliness and evil.  Negative people look for (and always find) confirmation for the negative, just as positive people look for and find the lightness of being.  Both exist.  Both are real and are always with us.  The difference is as basic as a decision, and as simple as opening our eyes.

— Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love, p. 225

Redemption

Core Value, Forgiveness, Love 0

Love means the ability to identify with imperfection and to recognize the inadequacies, weaknesses, fears and confusion in ourselves and others.  Loving what is unlovable in them is always a challenge.  It’s so much easier to dismiss people for their failings than it is to stick by them.  I wonder why it is that we are more prone to finding fatal flaws than looking for redeeming qualities?

— Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love, p. 217