Letting Go of Control

Letting Go, Love, Relationships 0

To be intimate or close, we have to let go, for the moment, of our need to control.  Controlling and caretaking prevent intimacy and closeness.  They are substitutes for, and barricades to, closeness.  We can’t be close if we’re trying to control or caretake.  Controlling and caretaking are ways to connect with people.  They’re not as satisfying as closeness and intimacy, but for some of us, those are the only ways we learned how to connect with others.

— Melody Beattie, Beyond Codependency, p. 185

A Good Cry

Compassion, Healing, Letting Go, Trials 0

Having a good cry can help us to heal.  We can feel sad about what is happening or has happened and then move back into the present moment.  Breaking down in tears over a seriously painful event is perfectly natural and healthy.  Think of your tears as a sign of your compassion and love.  Allow yourself to be fully present to the pain.  Feel your emotions.  Observe your thoughts.  Your tears will help to heal your broken heart.  Let your vulnerability be your strength.  Tears of sorrow cleanse your soul.  Crying is a sign of acceptance.  You face the pain, you feel it in your body, you observe it in your mind and emotions.  Crying doesn’t last long.  You catch yourself, realizing it is now time to let go and move on.

— Alexandra Stoddard, Choosing Happiness, p. 83

Letting Go

Letting Go, Marriage, Relationships, Truth 0

Of course my frustration was justified!  But that’s beside the point.  What kept me locked into the Gaslight Tango was my inability to accept that my husband was going to see things his own way, regardless of what I did.  If he wanted to think I was unreasonable, he would, no matter how hard I argued or how upset I got.  As soon as I understood that he — and he alone — had power over his own thoughts, no matter how right I might be, and that he wasn’t going to change, no matter what I said or did, I took a significant step toward freedom.

— Dr. Robin Stern, The Gaslight Effect, p. 192

Forgiving Yourself

Forgiveness, Healing, Letting Go, Life 0

To err is human, to forgive is a choice.

The third reason people have difficulty changing a tribal belief is one of the saddest but most firmly held beliefs I have encountered:  Mistakes, transgressions, or sins are not forgivable.…

The worst part about this tribal belief is that because you think you can never be forgiven, you sever your relationship with God or your Higher Power and cut yourself off from receiving divine guidance and recognizing synchronicity at work in your life.

— Christel Nani, Sacred Choices, p. 228

Living in the Present

Forgiveness, Joy, Letting Go 0

However we perceive the past, whether in a positive or a negative light, concentrating on it makes us unhappier in the present.  The past is past.

Through deliberate present-minded focus we can breathe in new life, new positive energy, letting go of the way things were in the past.  When we grow more mindful, we open our hearts to forgiveness and choose not to get bogged down in placing blame or getting even with others.  When we let go of the past, we gain in wisdom.  We feel lighter and brighter, inspired by what we’ve learned, ready to move on.

— Alexandra Stoddard, Choosing Happiness:  Keys to a Joyful Life, p. 14