“Nothing your prodigal, or you, are involved in right now has God wringing His hands, searching for a solution. We only need to allow God to be God….
“Nothing that concerns you is too petty for God to resolve for you.”
— Robert E. Steinkamp, The Prodigal’s Pen, p. 172-173
“Disappointment, sadness, anxiety, and distress are part of everyday living. Only if they stimulate core hurts that are blamed on someone else will they become anger.
“Disappointment means you didn’t get something you wanted. It doesn’t mean that you are unworthy of it, it just means you didn’t get it.
“Sadness means you’ve lost something. It doesn’t mean that you are unlovable, it just means that you lost something.
“Anxiety is a dread that something bad might happen. It does not tell you that you are bad; it tells you to pay attention to a problem, so you can solve it.
“Distress means that you are currently overloaded in emotional response. It doesn’t mean that you are inadequate, it means your overexcited emotional circuits need a moment to calm. HEALS will do the trick quickly.”
— Steven Stosny, Manual of the Core Value Workshop, p. 40
“In recovery, we stop enduring life and begin to live it…. We forego worrying and denial, and learn constructive problem solving skills…. We learn to value what we want and need; we stop punishing ourselves for other people’s problems, nonsense and insanity. We stop expecting ourselves to be perfect, and we stop expecting perfection of others…. We stop getting tangled up in craziness…. We stop compulsively taking care of other people and we take care of ourselves. We learn to be good to ourselves, to have fun, and to enjoy life. We learn to feel good about what we’ve accomplished. We stop focusing on what’s wrong and we notice what’s right.”
— Melody Beattie, Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time, p. 13.
“General Rule: If you have to justify your emotions or behavior, to yourself or others, they are almost always harmful.
“The urge to justify should be a trigger to heal the hurt that causes the anger. Justifying anger never heals the hurt that causes it.”
— Steven Stosny, Manual of the Core Value Workshop, p. 39-40.
“Deliberately using our capacity to be amused is one of many ways we can cleanse the mind of pollutants. Laughter is letting go. Laughter — true laughter, laughter that makes us all feel closer as opposed to laughter that makes us feel uneasy and separate — is instantaneous release of anxiety, discouragement, and all other fragmented states….
“Children are predisposed to laugh. They are pre-amused. Because of this, children can often prevent disturbing thoughts from getting a foothold in their minds in the first place. Under most circumstances, they instinctively shift their preoccupation from a subject of disstress to a subject of delight.”
— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 139
“It’s okay to be in a relationship, but it’s also okay to not be in a relationship. Find friends to love, be loved by, and who think we are worthwhile. Love ourselves and know we are worthwhile. Use our time alone as a breather. Let go. Learn the lessons we are to be learning. Grow. Develop. Work on ourselves, so when love comes along, it enhances a full and interesting life. Love shouldn’t be the concern of our whole life or an escape from an unpleasant life. Strive toward goals. Have fun. Trust God and His timing. He cares and knows about all our needs and wants.”
— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 213-214
“My definition of guilt is quite simple: when you try to force yourself to do something you don’t really want to do…. Anytime you hear yourself say, ‘I should, I’m supposed to, I have to,’ you have ignored your spirit to please your tribe.
“Coming into harmony with your soul releases the tension in your body and eliminates the mental Ping-Pong. When you hear your spirit, there is a huge surge of energy with a wonderful feeling of relief. Suddenly you are awake, alert, and fully alive and ready to live.”
— Christel Nani, Sacred Choices, p. 49
“The trap of trying to control someone is that it makes you feel more powerless.”
— Steven Stosny, Compassion Power Boot Camp
“You can’t control other egos and events, so let go of control. You can only control your focus. So focus on what unites, comforts, and stills your mind.”
— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 116
“Although we can’t control even the tiniest ego or smallest event, we can control our decision to control. We can let go and be free, or we can fight useless battles. But we can’t do both. Either our attention is on form or content, on appearance or substance. By letting go of our desire to dominate outcomes, we don’t sacrifice anything real, but we do open our heart and mind to the experience of wholeness.”
— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 112-113