In Charge of No One But Ourselves

Letting Go, Life, Parenting, Peace, Relationships 0

It bears repeating:  We are not in charge of others!  Not their behavior, their thoughts, their dreams, their problems, their successes, or their failures.

Even the children we parent have their own journey to make, and our so-called control over them is, in fact, an illusion.  We can set an example for them, we can suggest a set of behaviors, we can demonstrate a code of ethics, we can even require that they live by certain “house rules” while under our roof, but finally it is they who will decide who they want to be and what they want to do, regardless of our efforts.  And for that we will become grateful in time.

I say:  Let’s celebrate the fact that we are in charge of no one but ourselves.  It relieves us of a heavy burden, and a thankless job, one that never blesses us.  Taking control of every thought we have and every action we take, and being willing to relinquish the past while savoring the present, will assuredly keep us as busy as we need to be.  Doing these things, and only these things is why we are here.  It’s only when we live our own lives and manage our own affairs, freeing others to do the same, that we find the peace we seek and so deserve.

— Karen Casey, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow:  12 Simple Principles, p. 8-9

A Generous God

God, Peace 0

God is so amazingly generous.  I ask, he gives.  Just like that.  I worry; he counsels me in the night.  He molds my very heart in his hands and instructs me in his ways.

— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer, p. 255

Forgiveness Is About the Present

Forgiveness, Peace 0

Forgiveness is more about our present life than about our past….  In my own situation, I had realized that the heart of what I was feeling was an inability to find love and happiness in my current life.  I blamed the person who hurt me in the past for my unhappiness, but in fact I was upset at the condition of my life in the present.  I saw that if I wanted to get better, I would have to focus more on the present and future than on the past.

— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 34

New Depths

Forgiveness, Joy, Love, Peace 0

When we choose to forgive others, even when they are not broken themselves, God pours out freedom, grace, peace, joy, love — and even forgiveness itself into our hearts.  It takes your breath away when you experience it yourself.  It takes you to depths with God that you never could have reached except through this mysterious path.

— testimonial quoted in Choosing Forgiveness, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, p. 141

Forgiveness as Acceptance

Forgiveness, Peace 0

The ability to remain at peace when you do not get what you want is forgiveness….

When you want something different from what you actually get, you are always in a position of struggle.  That struggle often shows up as anger or despair or a sense of helplessness.  The good news is that you can get over those negative emotional reactions and learn to be at peace….

Whether or not you remain at peace is mostly up to you.  Forgiveness contains the understanding that another person’s action, no matter how awful, does not compel you to be endlessly miserable, angry, or emotionally distraught.

— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 14-15

Forgiveness brings Peace.

Forgiveness, Peace 0

Even when you can’t see the results — though the situation may not clear up entirely or get any better at all — you can still know that you’ve done what God has required of you.  You can continue to forgive as His grace and love flow through you.  And you can walk in peace — His peace.

— Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Choosing Forgiveness, p. 100

Healing Your Resentment

Healing, Joy, Life, Peace 0

Whenever you forget to nurture and care for yourself because it feels selfish, your level of resentment will rise….

You must take personal responsibility for your level of self-care — that means not blaming others because you are stuck cleaning the garage while your husband is off playing golf.  Why are you not doing what you want to be doing?…

Remember to look for the subtle ways you forget to honor yourself.  If you come last in your life, your level of resentment will be high.

— Christel Nani, Sacred Choices, p. 234-235

Good Enough

Healing, Letting Go, Life, Peace 0

I made a decision that day.  I was here, I was me, and I was enough in spite of my past, my present, my future, my weaknesses, my foibles, my mistakes, and my humanness.

We’re good, and we’re good enough.  Sometimes we make big mistakes; sometimes we make little mistakes.  But the mistake is what we do, not who we are.  We have a right to be, to be here, and be who we are.  If we’re not certain who we are, we have a right to make that exciting discovery.  And we don’t ever have to let shame tell us any differently.

–Melody Beattie, Beyond Codependency, p. 111

God is Witness

God, Marriage, Peace 0

In the environment of the courtroom, with man-made laws laying wait to render a decree of dissolution of your marriage, keep foremost in your mind, precious one, that the Lord God Himself was witness to the covenant made at your marriage.  You might feel frightened and all alone, but you won’t be.  Just be strong and of good courage.  Do not fear nor be afraid, for the Lord Your God, He is the one who goes with you.  Regardless of the outcome, know for certain that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

— Testimonial in Your Father Knows Best, compiled by Bob and Charlyne Steinkamp

Contentment

Letting Go, Life, Peace 0

We must let our day, our week, our life come to us, rather than ceaselessly clawing to get the life we want.  Instead of focusing on what hasn’t been done for us, we must look more gently on the particular circumstances we find ourselves in at the moment and concentrate on experiencing stillness and peace where we are.

— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 209