Meaning in Trials

Core Value, Healing, Trials 0

These ten things — and I don’t care what you call them: ways, steps, practices, teachings — are things to do, to stop doing, to think of, to remember, and to become so that you can find your way through this very hard time. Their purpose is to show you that rather than being random assaults from an uncaring universe, the difficulties you are going through have meaning and purpose. Not only is your crisis here to get you to exercise your coping muscles, and therein to discover your strength; your problems also have a larger purpose. And that is to remind you of the quality of being that you truly are — powerful, loving, eternal.

— Daphne Rose Kingma, Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart, p. xvi-xvii

The True Me

Core Value, God, Growth, Life 0

What is inside me, the thing I love with, and the thing I think about God with, and the thing I love poetry with, the thing I read the Bible with — that thing God keeps on making bigger and bigger. That thing is me, and God will keep on making it bigger to all eternity, though he has not even got me into the right shape yet.

— George MacDonald, Wisdom to Live By, p. 30

Being With Me

Core Value, Joy, Life 0

If I can’t enjoy being with me, spending time alone with me, having fun with me, watching the sunset with me and taking long walks with me, how can I expect anyone else to want to? I do acknowledge that, for most people, many of these experiences are enhanced by sharing them, but try them alone with your soul. Breathe deeply into your heart and fill yourself with love and wonder.

— Brenda Davies, Unlocking the Heart Chakra, p. 75

Grace the World with Your Dance

Core Value, God, Life, Love 0

God really does want you to know who you are. He wants you to be able to understand the story of your life, to know where you have come from, and to know where you are going. There is freedom there. Freedom to be and to offer and to love….

Whatever your particular calling, you are meant to grace the world with your dance, to follow the lead of Jesus wherever he leads you. He will lead you first into himself; and then, with him, he will lead you into the world that he loves and needs you to love.

— John & Stasi Eldredge, Captivating, p. 216, 217

Validation from God

Core Value, God, Healing, Relationships 0

No man can tell you who you are as a woman. No man is the verdict on your soul…. Only God can tell you who you are. Only God can speak the answer you need to hear. That is why we spoke of the Romance with him first. It comes first. It must. It has to. Adam is a far too unreliable source — amen!

Now, yes, in a loving relationship, we are meant to speak to one another’s wounds. In love we can bring such deep joy and healing as we offer to one another our strength and beauty…. But our core validation, our primary validation has to come from God. And until it does, until we look to him for the healing of our souls, our relationships are really hurt by this looking-to-each-other for something only God can give.

— Stasi and John Eldredge, Captivating, p. 152-153

The Message of Your Pain

Compassion, Core Value, Healing, Relationships 0

Resentful, angry, and abusive people drastically misinterpret the message of their own pain. . . . The bad feelings your husband blames on you are telling him to improve, appreciate, connect, or protect, for those are the only things that can make him feel better. And your pain is giving you the exact same message. Even if your husband changes dramatically and replaces his resentment, anger, or abusive behavior with compassion, you still have to heed the message of your core hurts to improve, appreciate, connect, or protect. This means that your focus has to be on your own resources, not on your husband and not on outside supports.

— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 116

Your Beauty and Power

Core Value, Healing, Life 0

The message of our wounds nearly always is, “This is because of you. This is what you deserve.” It changes things to realize that, no, it is because you are glorious that these things have happened. It is because you are a major threat to the kingdom of darkness. Because you uniquely carry the glory of God to the world.

You are hated because of your beauty and power.

— John and Stasi Eldredge, Captivating, p. 85

Happiness and Guilt

Core Value, Joy 0

You enjoy as much happiness as you believe you’re worthy of.

Happiness is natural, easy, and effortless when your Self-acceptance is high, but happiness is blasphemous when your Self-acceptance is low. When you feel low, you dream of being happy, but you also secretly fear that maybe you’re not worthy of happiness, so you question, doubt, resist, test, defend against, overlook, and push away invitations to be happy….

You suffer as much pain as you believe you’re worthy of.

Self-acceptance (that is, Self-worth) is the key to both happiness and unhappiness. If you can accept yourself as whole, worthy, and well, then happiness is natural and acceptable to you. If, however, you judge yourself as “not good enough,” then you’re not good enough for happiness. Indeed, for as long as you judge that you’re “not good enough,” you must always throw happiness off for fear of guilt.

— Robert Holden, PhD, Happiness Now! p. 92-93

You Are Enough.

Core Value, Marriage 0

Know now and hear me, loud and clear: You are not responsible for your partner’s choices and actions. You are fabulous, loving and enough. You definitely have things to learn about how you got to this point in your life and where you’re meant to go from here. And you will learn them! But you’re not to blame for this crisis in your world. You’re more than good enough! And there is nothing wrong with you!

— Eve A. Wood, MD, The Gift of Betrayal, p. 9

Seeing the Inner Light

Core Value, Healing, Parenting, Relationships 0

True healers take into account any type of darkness, but their real task is to see the Light in their clients so as to help them remember and consciously reconnect to their own inner Light. In this way, both healer and client are healed together. Parenting is the same. The ultimate gift of a parent to a child is to care for the inner Light of children until they can care for it themselves. True friends are those who believe in you through thick and thin. They still see the Light in you even when your moods and behavior are dark and low. Mentors, managers, leaders, visionaries, peacemakers, and everyone who truly serves . . . they all see the Light.

— Robert Holden, PhD, Happiness Now! p. 29