Regardless of Circumstances
Happy women know that they can have meaningful, fulfilling, and happy lives regardless of life’s circumstances.
— Dan Baker, PhD, and Cathy Greenberg, PhD, What Happy Women Know, p. 233
Category: Joy
10 Posts
Positive Intention
The good news is that as we connect to our positive intention, we begin to find forgiveness. Forgiveness is the compassion we experience as we remind ourselves that by driving a car — having a relationship — we run the risk of a breakdown. Forgiveness is the power we get as we assert that we have a deep well of resilience to draw upon. Forgiveness is the grace that helps us remember to look around while we’re on the side of the road and appreciate our beautiful surroundings and the people we love. To help forgiveness emerge, we can learn to see ourselves from the point of view of our positive intention, not primarily as a wounded or rejected lover.
— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 190
Sacred Romance
Indeed, if we will listen, a Sacred Romance calls to us through our heart every moment of our lives. It whispers to us on the wind, invites us through the laughter of good friends, reaches out to us through the touch of someone we love. We’ve heard it in our favorite music, sensed it at the birth of our first child, been drawn to it while watching the shimmer of a sunset on the ocean. The Romance is even present in times of great personal suffering: the illness of a child, the loss of a marriage, the death of a friend. Something calls to us through experiences like these and rouses an inconsolable longing deep within our heart, wakening in us a yearning for intimacy, beauty, and adventure.
— John Eldredge, The Sacred Romance, p. 6-7
Happiness After Loss
Happy women know that no one gets to be happy all the time.
There’s no getting around it. If you love, you will lose. But that doesn’t mean being sentenced to a life of unhappiness. Be patient, take the time you need, and allow the grief to help you discover new independence and a fresh outlook on things.
There is tremendous wisdom that is accumulated after loss. Healing takes place when we can turn our pain into something meaningful. . . . Take time to do things that will bring renewed meaning to your life.
— Dan Baker, PhD, and Cathy Greenberg, PhD, What Happy Women Know, p. 173
Choose To Be Happy.
When a relationship is over, it stings, and it’s frightening because you don’t know what lies ahead. The good news is that what happens from there on is up to you. If you want to be happy, let go of the belief that you are nothing without him and take on the attitude that you are and can be what you choose to be without him. In fact, let’s just leave him out of the sentence altogether. Now it reads: You are and can be what you choose to be. So choose to be independent. Choose to be strong. Choose to be happy.
— Dan Baker, PhD, and Cathy Greenberg, PhD, What Happy Women Know, p. 127
Pleasing Yourself
Happiness is not found in pleasing others at the expense of self. It is not doing what others think you should do. Happiness comes when you do what pleases you for the sake of pleasing yourself. Think about this for a moment: No one could quibble that Mother Teresa was one of the most altruistic people of the 20th century. She didn’t have to do what she was doing. She did it because it pleased her. From my observation, she found profound personal pleasure in caring for others and serving God.
— Dan Baker, PhD, and Cathy Greenberg, PhD, What Happy Women Know, p. 84
Appreciate What You Have
If you keep in mind that happiness depends more on your state of mind than it does on your bank statement, you will understand that there can be only one tool to free you from the money trap: Appreciate and focus on what you have and don’t lament what you don’t have.
If you focus on what you don’t have, you’re going to be miserable. And that will happen again and again, because guaranteed, there will always be someone who has more than you do. If you look instead at what you do have, and I mean across the board, not simply the house and the car — if you look at your relationships and anything else that is meaningful to you, you cannot help but embrace and celebrate life for what it is. . . .
In the end, happy women know it’s not the woman who dies with the most pairs of shoes who garners the prize; it’s the one who has had the most fun dancing in them who is truly the winner.
— Dan Baker, PhD, and Cathy Greenberg, PhD, What Happy Women Know, p. 60-61
The Shepherd
I’m back to the shepherd and the sheep. When the sheep follow the shepherd, they find pasture. They find life. Life doesn’t just magically come to us. We have to make ourselves available to it. There is a lifestyle that allows us to receive the life of God. I know that if I will live more intimately with Jesus and follow his voice, I will have a much better chance of finding the life I long for. I know it. If I will listen to his voice and let him set the pace, if I will cooperate in my transformation, I will be a much happier man. And so a new prayer has begun to rise within me. I am asking God, What is the life you want me to live?
— John Eldredge, Walking with God, p. 28
Do Not Lose Hope.
“When all of this comes to pass, My word to you is this: Do not lose hope. A plan is unfolding that you cannot clearly see. If you could see it as I do, you would still hurt, but you would not lose hope. You would gladly remain faithful to Me in the middle of the worst suffering. I guarantee you the power to please Me, not to have a good time. But pleasing Me will bring you great joy.
“In the deepest part of your soul, you long more than anything else to be a part of My plan, to further My kingdom, to know Me and please Me and enjoy Me. I will satisfy that longing. You have the power to represent Me well no matter what happens in your life. That is the hope I give you in this world. Don’t lose it.”
— Larry Crabb, Shattered Dreams: God’s Unexpected Pathway to Joy, p. 46
You Are Enough.
Throughout this book, I’ve been carrying on about men and finding them and getting them and keeping them and deciding whether or not to kill them, and if so, how, and so on. And that’s all funny and mostly true and all that, but the real truth is you are enough — just the way you are, just who you are. You are a complete entity, a whole person, right there in the skin you’re in. You don’t need to have a guy to be happy. Admit it: You have more fun with a gang of girlfriends than you’ve had on the absolute best date of your entire life. If somebody comes along who treats you right and makes you happy and you can do the same for him, well, that’s just dandy. But I’m telling you, the only way that I know to get and keep a happy, healthy relationship is first to create a happy and healthy life for yourself without one. This is your life to live.
— Jill Conner Browne, The Sweet Potato Queens’ Field Guide to Men, p. 206