Archive for September, 2007

Love grows when given.

Saturday, September 22nd, 2007

“The more loving experiences we have, the more we have to bring with us when we focus on a deep, intimate relationship.  The quality of love is not strained when it is shared; rather it is intensified and most assuredly improves with the experience.”

— Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love, p. 77

Only Human Love

Saturday, September 22nd, 2007

“Perhaps we would feel less frustrated if we could accept the fact that on this earth there is no perfect love, only human love.  Then we could expend our energies appreciating and enhancing the love we have.”

— Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love, p. 75

An emotion-free mind is an unrealistic and unhelpful goal.

Friday, September 21st, 2007

“Trying to keep ourselves from experiencing a particular emotion in the first place is an even bigger mistake than trying to fight it once we are aware of it.  When we attempt to preempt it, we risk hiding the emotion rather than letting it go.  Unseen, the thought behind the feeling continues to operate, but with far more power than before.

“If a destructive emotion were just a set of physical sensations, then perhaps we could will ourselves to ignore it, like we sometimes will ourselves to ignore a backache or ‘fight’ a cold.  But an emotion is the symptom of a thought, and attempting to block the emotion is ignoring the thought that’s causing the feeling….

“We must expose the thought that is producing the emotion, and we must expose what we’re doing to empower and retain that thought.

“If we can clearly see that we don’t believe the thought behind a particular emotion, we have the option of replacing it with a more natural, restful, and self-affirming mental activity.  If we want to end the vicious cycle of using our minds to torture ourselves, uncovering the thought behind our first wave of emotion is fundamental.”

— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 60-61

Unconscious Thinking

Friday, September 21st, 2007

“Because emotions are by-products of thinking, we sabotage our careers, health, happiness and relationships through unconscious thinking, not unconscious feeling.  This is why learning to recognize a polluting thought the instant it shows itself is crucial.”

— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 55

Compassion Is the Key

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

“Compassion shines light on our differences and lets us appreciate and sympathize with loved ones.  Love without the sensitivity of compassion is rejecting of who you really are as a person, possessive, controlling, and dangerous.”

— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 32

Two Laws of Chronic Resentment

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

“There are two laws of chronic resentment.  The first is, ‘Nothing is too petty to resent.’  But the second, more damaging law is, ‘Resentment always winds its way, in some form or other, to the wife or husband, no matter what stimulates it in the first place.’

— Steve Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore:  Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One, p. 24

Taking Care of Ourselves

Monday, September 17th, 2007

“I believe God has exciting, interesting things in store for each of us.  I believe there is an enjoyable, worthwhile purpose — besides taking care of people and being an appendage to someone — for each of us.  I believe we tap into this attitude by taking care of ourselves.  We begin to cooperate.  We open ourselves up to the goodness and richness available in us and to us….

“Ultimately, we may even discover this astounding truth:  Few situations in life are ever improved by not taking care of ourselves and not giving ourselves what we need.  In fact, we may learn most situations are improved when we take care of ourselves and tend our needs.”

— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 104, 107

Live Your Own Life

Monday, September 17th, 2007

“The surest way to make ourselves crazy is to get involved in other people’s business, and the quickest way to become sane and happy is to tend to our own affairs.”

— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 103

First Love

Monday, September 17th, 2007

“First love; then do what you do.  First choose peace; then say what you say.  Asking, ‘What should I do?’  ‘What should I say?’ really means, ‘How do I get the outcome I want?’  ‘How do I control this person?’  Seldom are we confused if we make peace and mental wholeness our goal.”

— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 50-51

Letting Go of Control

Monday, September 17th, 2007

“Declining to make control our aim does not mean that we perform the tasks and duties before us sloppily or halfheartedly.  If our purpose is awareness, all things must be done attentively.  If our purpose is wholeness, all things must be done meticulously.  If our purpose is to love, all things must be done with care and beauty.”

— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 48