The Golden Rule of Self-Esteem

The road to psychological ruin begins with blame.

The road to psychological power begins with responsibility.

You cannot blame and find good solutions at the same time.  You must choose between blame and making things better.

Blame is always about the past.  Solutions must occur in the present and the future.

Blame focuses attention on damage, injury, defects, weakness — on what is wrong.  Blame makes you feel like a powerless victim.

Responsibility focuses attention on strengths, resiliency, competence, growth, creativity, healing, and compassion, all of which are necessary for solving family problems.

— Steven Stosny, Manual of the Core Value Workshop, p. 44

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