The greatest leverage parents have to help and guide children is to form strong, resentment-free emotional bonds with them, based on value, mutual respect, and empowerment.
Empowerment gives someone the right and the confidence to offer solutions to problems that respect the best interests of all involved. In other words, it activates Core Value and motivations to improve, appreciate, connect, and protect.
The trick in empowering children is to get them to come up with solutions that work for them and you. When they come up with the solutions, you avoid power struggles, resentment, and hostility. Most people, including children, like to cooperate, but hate to submit.
Steven Stosny, Manual of the Core Value Workshop, p. 51