Three inconvenient truths make this simple and obvious step to forgiveness challenging. The first truth is that every relationship is a risk. The second truth is that each and every relationship will end. And the third truth is that we can neither change nor control our partner’s actions. All three truths point to the same message: when we commit to someone, we don’t know what we will get or how long it will last. Because of these three truths, every relationship will have challenges and be difficult at times. We can’t choose whether or not to have difficult experiences — all we can do is choose who to have those difficult experiences with….
When you say, “I do,” you are choosing who you will experience these uncertainties and vulnerabilities with, not making a choice as to whether or not they will happen. When you set up a life with someone, you are in part agreeing to experience the pains and difficulties of life with them.
— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 89