For that delightful, exuberant, lovable child in us to come out and play and show his or her beautiful face in moments of intimacy and closeness, that child first has to be found. Secondly, that child must know that if he or she comes out to play he or she will be protected, valued, cherished, and cared for. That the child in us must feel this way isn’t optional: it’s essential and a prerequisite to intimacy.
— Melody Beattie, Beyond Codependency, p. 185