Codependent Rescuing

Rescuing and caretaking mean what they sound like.  We rescue people from their responsibilities.  We take care of people’s responsibilities for them.  Later we get mad at them for what we’ve done.  Then we feel used and sorry for ourselves.  That is the pattern, the triangle….

“Caretaking doesn’t help; it causes problems.  When we take care of people and do things we don’t want to do, we ignore personal needs, wants, and feelings.  We put ourselves aside.  Sometimes, we get so busy taking care of people that we put our entire lives on hold.  Many caretakers are harried and overcommitted; they enjoy none of their activities.  Caretakers look so responsible, but we aren’t.  We don’t assume responsibility for our highest responsibility — ourselves.”

— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 78 & 83

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