Of course love is never earned. It is a grace we give one another. Anything we need to earn is only approval.
Few perfectionists can tell the difference between love and approval. Perfectionism is so widespread in this culture that we actually have had to invent another word for love. “Unconditional love” we say. Yet, all love is unconditional. Anything else is just approval.
— Rachel Naomi Remen, MD, Kitchen Table Wisdom, p. 47