Discover Joy

Beauty, Gratitude, Joy 0

I know there is poor and hideous suffering, and I’ve seen the hungry and the guns that go to war. I have lived pain, and my life can tell: I only deepen the wound of the world when I neglect to give thanks for early light dappled through leaves and the heavy perfume of wild roses in early July and the song of crickets on humid nights and the rivers that run and the stars that rise and the rain that falls and all the good things that a good God gives. Why would the world need more anger, more outrage? How does it save the world to reject unabashed joy when it is joy that saves us? Rejecting joy to stand in solidarity with the suffering doesn’t rescue the suffering. The converse does. The brave who focus on all things good and all things beautiful and all things true, even in the small, who give thanks for it and discover joy even in the here and now, they are the change agents who bring fullest Light to all the world. When we lay the soil of our hard lives open to the rain of grace and let joy penetrate our cracked and dry places, let joy soak into our broken skin and deep crevices, life grows. How can this not be the best thing for the world? For us? The clouds open when we mouth thanks.

— Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts, p. 58

Caring for Ourselves

Beauty, Growth, Joy, Love 0

When we are caring for ourselves, we discover that there is actually plenty of time and energy to care for others and the world too. It is not negatively “selfish” to care for yourself brilliantly and exquisitely. In fact, as you fill your own well from the inside and tend to your self with great love, it will naturally and effortlessly “spill over” for others to appreciate and utilize.

When you see someone who radiantly glows from within, you are seeing a self-caring soul. This kind of self-care is a living example to be inspired by, so that you can live that way also.

— SARK, Glad No Matter What, p. 56

You Can Make Yourself Feel Better.

Growth, Healing, Joy, Life 0

Just as you have the capacity to go indoors when you get cold, you can take yourself to another emotional climate if the one you’re in becomes uncomfortable. That means you can pull yourself out of a slump or a rage. You can reintroduce feelings even if you have spent a sizable portion of your life numb. And, if need be, you can fall out of love. Resilient people believe that they can — and should — make themselves feel better.

An essential part of being able to do this is knowing when you feel bad. Resilient people are aware — they know when something has pushed a button and they’ve ended up feeling trauma-y. And instead of just being adrift in a sea of emotions, they have the ability to say, ‘Hey, I’m in a bad mood, let me do something about it.’ They know when they’re off balance. And knowing that you’re off balance isn’t so scary when you’re resilient, because you have internal efficacy — the knowledge that you’ll be able to make yourself feel better.

Whether they need soothing and comfort, or some distraction, or a little physical activity, or rest, resilient survivors feel confident that they’ll be able to change their moods by taking action; they know that they can restore their natural equilibrium.

Indeed, what is remarkable about resilient survivors with regard to their sense of internal efficacy is that they not only believe they are at the helm of their own emotions, but they have a willingness to do something about it — to put on a different song, for instance, and to let their emotions be changed by it. They grab an emotion off of their Rx emotions list, and they do what they have to do to get themselves feeling that way. Taking positive action helps them move from defeated to empowered.

— Alicia Salzer, MD, Back to Life, p. 146-147

Be the Motion.

Joy, Life 0

Dive into your passions, and you blow past the heartaches and excuses that keep you from feeling pore-tingling fun without guilt. When you have the life force humming, you’re not going through the motions anymore. You are the motion. You don’t have to restrain your enthusiasm. You can be as excited as you want to be, shout without fear of breaking decorum, feel at home in your own skin. You realize that celebrating is not something to save for milestones but sustenance you can indulge in every week.

Most of us live in the soulless flatlands of adulthood, resigned to the loss of eagerness and joyful abandon. But you can bring that spark back from the dead through the life force of participant experience. Your brain, it turns out, doesn’t want comfort, it wants engagement.

— Joe Robinson, Don’t Miss Your Life, p. 18-19

Showing Yourself

Connection, Marriage, Relationships, Truth 0

This self-representation is the answer to every problem in marriage. It stops needless finger pointing arguments because you’re first pointing fingers at yourself. It starts great discussions because great discussions are only possible when each side is being truthful — and encouraging the other to do the same. Self-representation makes for remarkable connection because it ensures that the two trying to connect are at least trying to be authentic and truthful. Finally, self-representation eradicates the villain of marital boredom, because the risk-filled journey of showing your cards never ends. As you continue to age and grow and change, so will your desires, your preferences, and your dreams. And no matter how long you live with one person, you can never fully eliminate the risk of having no guarantee how your spouse will respond when you take an I-step. Never. That’s awfully good news for those of us wanting to retain the mystery, the excitement, and yes, the intimacy of a deeper, lifelong, connection.

— Hal Edward Runkel, LMFT, ScreamFree Marriage, p. 220

The Work of Jesus

God, Love, Obedience, Redemption 0

Jesus would not give himself to only a portion of his Father’s will, but to all of it. He would not pluck the spreading branches of the tree; he would lay the axe to its root. He would not deal with the mere effect of sin; he would destroy sin altogether. It would take time, but the tree would be dead at last — dead, and cast into the lake of fire. It would take time, but his Father had time enough and to spare. It would take courage and strength and self-denial and endurance; but his Father could give him all. It would cost pain of body and mind, agony and torture, but those he was ready to take on himself. It would cost him the vision of many sad and, to all but him, hopeless sights. He would have to see tears without wiping them, hear sighs without changing them into laughter, see the dead lie, and let them lie. He would have to see Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted. He must look on his brothers and sisters crying as children over their broken toys, and must not mend them. He must go on to the grave, and none of these know that thus he was setting all things right for them. His work must be one with and completing God’s creation and God’s history.

— George MacDonald, Knowing the Heart of God, p. 283

Loving Detachment

Letting Go, Love, Relationships 0

Obsession with the actions of others — wishing he or she would change, wanting more attention or perhaps less, wishing our significant others would let us decide their fate — is so exhausting. When we are caught up in the cycle of obsession, we are seldom even aware of how we are letting our own lives slip away. But slip away they will. Learning how to let go of others and their lives takes willingness, a tremendous commitment to staying the course, and constant practice. If we don’t keep this as a goal for our lives, we will miss the opportunities God is sending us for our own unique growth. We can only do justice to one life; ours.

Being detached from someone does not mean no longer caring for them. It does not mean pretending they no longer exist. It does not mean avoiding all contact with them. Being detached simply means not letting their behavior determine our feelings. It means not letting their behavior determine how we act, how we think, how we pray. Detachment is a loving act for all concerned. No one wants to be the constant center of someone else’s life, at least not for long. Two people lose their lives when either one is constantly focused on the other. That’s not why we are here.

— Karen Casey, Let Go Now, p. 21

Shifting from Worry to Watching

God, Growth, Joy, Letting Go, Prayer, Trials 0

When you stop trying to control your life and instead allow your anxieties and problems to bring you to God in prayer, you shift from worry to watching. You watch God weave his patterns in the story of your life. Instead of trying to be out front, designing your life, you realize you are inside God’s drama. As you wait, you begin to see him work, and your life begins to sparkle with wonder. You are learning to trust again.

— Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life, p. 73