And love is magic! The more love we give away, the more we have. And the more we love, the better we feel about ourselves, the happier we are, the more creative we feel. A bonus is that those who actively love, live longer!
Love is the most therapeutic commodity known, a powerful antidote to all ills, to hatred which infects great areas of the world and the fear that prevents us from denouncing it.
Dr. Brenda Davies, Unlocking the Heart Chakra, p. 41
I put a life together with my family and friends and dogs. I learned to make use of the solitude I now had aplenty. I started writing, wanting to make something useful come from our catastrophe, and working hard, I began to be happy….
I lived with this shame a long time before I could speak of it. Finally I told my sister. “But it’s not about Rich’s accident,” Eliza said. “You don’t want to return to unhappiness. That’s all.” I will never forget that instant of absolute clarity. And just like that, I was free.
— Abigail Thomas, A Three Dog Life, p. 123
I have met many women and a few men in what are clearly difficult, sometimes abusive, or extremely negative relationships who think that they are doing something spiritually wonderful by staying in a situation that is clearly eroding their soul. This is an example of the tribal belief Spiritual growth is hard, and you have to change yourself so you can be happy in any situation with any person at all times. Personally, I don’t believe this at all. It is responsible for more people staying in bad situations than any other tribal belief about spirituality.
— Christel Nani, Sacred Choices, p. 284
Nothing gives one a more spuriously good conscience than keeping rules, even if there has been total absence of all real charity and faith.
— C. S. Lewis, Letter, 20 February 1955
God really does want you to know who you are. He wants you to be able to understand the story of your life, to know where you have come from, and to know where you are going. There is freedom there. Freedom to be and to offer and to love….
Whatever your particular calling, you are meant to grace the world with your dance, to follow the lead of Jesus wherever he leads you. He will lead you first into himself; and then, with him, he will lead you into the world that he loves and needs you to love.
— John & Stasi Eldredge, Captivating, p. 216, 217
I am convinced more than ever that once the great global climactic catastrophe has destroyed the earth, when the stragglers dig themselves out from their damp bomb-shelter hovels and go hard-core low-tech, readers of young adult fiction will make up the core of the new society . . . because we are the only ones who will find living off the land fun.
— Lizzie Skurnick, Shelf Discovery: The Teen Classics We Never Stopped Reading, p. 218
Doing all the work in a relationship is not loving, giving, or caring. It is self-defeating and relationship-defeating. It creates the illusion of a relationship when in fact there may be no relationship. It enables the other person to be irresponsible for his or her share. Because that does not meet our needs, we ultimately feel victimized….
Are we doing all the waiting, the hoping, the work?
We can let go. If the relationship is meant to be, it will be, and it will become what it is meant to be. We do not help that process by trying to control it. We do not help ourselves, the other person, or the relationship by trying to force it or by doing all the work.
Let it be. Wait and see. Stop worrying about making it happen. See what happens and strive to understand if that is what you want.
— Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go, p. 325
Intuition provides options. When you are connected to the instinctual self, you always have at least four choices . . . the two opposites and then the middle ground, and “taken under further contemplation.” If you’re not vested in the intuitive, you may think you have only one choice, and that it seems an undesirable one. And perhaps you feel that you ought to suffer about it. And submit. And force yourself to do it. No, there’s a better way. Listen to the inner hearing, the inner seeing, the inner being. Follow it. It knows what to do next.
— Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With the Wolves, p. 118
You’re feeling confused, baffled, and wondering who belongs in the asylum. How could he be saying that it’s your responsibility to keep things civil and nice? He’s the one who was unfaithful, who broke his vows to you, who has inflicted hurt on you and your children. He just acted most uncivil and really, really not nice.
You think, “Isn’t it mostly his responsibility to be civil and nice?” Everything you’ve learned since childhood is that the one who committed the crime is the one who has the responsibility to right the wrong, to make up to those he harmed. You’ve learned that this is true whether the crime is murder or the crime is seven-year-old Adam stepping on his playmate Eric’s toy and breaking it. If the crime is murder, the best the perpetrator can do is to ask for forgiveness and serve time in jail. If it’s breaking the toy, we expect Adam to apologize and to do his best to fix or replace the toy.
Based on all the values, beliefs, and expectations you’ve lived by your entire life, what he’s saying doesn’t make any sense.
— Elizabeth Landers and Vicky Mainzer, The Script: The 100% Absolutely Predictable Things Men Do When They Cheat, p. 130
When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.
— C. S. Lewis, Letters, 8 November 1952