I am a lover of what is, not because I’m a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. We can know that reality is good just as it is, because when we argue with it, we experience tension and frustration. We don’t feel natural or balanced. When we stop opposing reality, action becomes simple, fluid, kind, and fearless.
— Loving What Is, by Byron Katie, p. 2
Giving up judgmental attitudes requires that we replace them with some other attitude. Our minds will not remain idle. The best attitude to cultivate and the one that changes everything and everyone — you and all of the people you formerly judged — is gratitude. Having an attitude of gratitude is what allows us to see everyone in our path as necessary and an opportunity for us to express unconditional love. You see, judgment and love cannot coexist, and we’re expressing one or the other almost all the time. Seldom are we indifferent to our experiences, to the people we are sharing those experiences with, and to the set of expectations we have created around those experiences. Becoming more loving, attempting to develop the attitude of unconditional love, in fact, is the real assignment we have been given in this life. No one can do the work for us. No one can prevent us from doing the work. And everyone benefits every time any one of us makes even a tiny effort to grow in our willingness to love rather than judge.
— Karen Casey, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow, p. 53-54
But the God of Scripture is also the God who refused to nuke Nineveh, even though that’s what Jonah wanted; who forgave David for a really staggering list of wrongdoings; who wants only for us stiff-necked people to repent and come home; who goes out into the stormy night for the one lost black sheep; who throws a party when the Prodigal Son returns; who loves us so much that God did indeed send his only begotten son to come live with us, as one of us, to help understand our stories — each one unique, infinitely valuable, irreplaceable.
— Madeleine L’Engle, The Rock That Is Higher, quoted in Glimpses of Grace, collected by Carole F. Chase, p. 323
Starting arguments, blaming others, or internalizing anger is not the way to go through life. Treat the problem knowing that you will get through it, and you will be a better person because of it. Remember, you can spend your life being angry or joyful. You control only one thing: your thoughts. So find the serenity within yourself. Or as my wife says, “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” Keep your sense of humor, express your feelings, and recognize your power, and you will spend more time at peace than at war.
— Bernie Siegal, M.D., Love, Magic & Mudpies, p. 186
It’s one of the toughest things in the world when somebody has hurt you, and you can find within yourself the strength to begin the whole process of forgiveness. And it turns out to be the gift to you, not so much the gift to the person you’re forgiving.
— Fred Rogers, quoted in The Simple Faith of Mr. Rogers, by Amy Hollingsworth, p. 98
I have been asked, and many times, “But can’t we choose to exclude ourselves?” Of course. Haven’t we, as children, haven’t our own children flung out of the room in anger? And haven’t we waited for them to come back? We have not slammed the door in their faces. We have welcomed them home. Jesus said, “If you . . . know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
— Madeleine L’Engle, The Rock That Is Higher, quoted in Glimpses of Grace, compiled by Carole F. Chase, p. 318
While waiting for direction, we do not have to put our life on hold. Let go of anxiety and enjoy life. Relax. Do something fun. Enjoy the love and beauty in your life. Accomplish small tasks. They may have nothing to do with solving the problem, or finding direction, but this is what we can do in the interim.
— Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go, p. 355
Repeat after me: I only have the space I have. It comes back to living in the present. You need space to live a happy, fruitful life. If you fill up that space with stuff for “the next house,” your present life suffers. Stop claiming your house is too small. The amount of space you have cannot be changed — the amount of stuff you have can. . . . Hoarding for “someday” is never worth it. If you’re really going to be that much richer, you’ll be able to afford the stuff you need when you need it.
— Peter Walsh, It’s All Too Much:Â An Easy Plan for Living a Richer Life with Less Stuff, p. 40
It’s up to us to determine our happiness.  No one else is in charge. No one else is to blame. No one else gets the credit. Our happiness is tied to our willingness to be responsible for our own moods. That’s a certainty — one of few in this life. It’s also a certainty that any happiness we feel in the company of others is not the result of their attention, their happiness or good fortune, or their commitment to us. It’s the result of our commitment to ourselves. Let’s be grateful for that! Accepting this, accepting that we are responsible for ourselves and ourselves alone, is the key to allowing the rest of our lives to unfold as they were meant to do.
— Karen Casey, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow, p. 51
Clearly, when one person defines the other, the person doing the defining (abusing), has closed off from the real person. When a person is told what they are, think, feel, and so forth, it is not only a lie told to them about themselves, but also it means that the abuser is closed off from the real person. The abuser cannot really hear, see, and take in information from the real person. It is as if he sees someone else. For instance, if the abuser says, “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re not listening,” he is talking to someone whom he defines as “made wrong” or as “not listening.” So, the real person isn’t seen or heard. It is as if a wall has arisen between the verbally abusive man and his partner. This is why, when a man defines his partner, she feels pain. At some level, she experiences the end of the relationship.
— Patricia Evans, The Verbally Abusive Man, p. 112