Change
Happy women know that with each phase of life, they give up something, but they also get something in return.
— Dan Baker, PhD, and Cathy Greenberg, PhD, What Happy Women Know, p. 236
Perspective
Perspective will come in retrospect.
We could strain for hours today for the meaning of something that may come in an instant next year.
Let it go. We can let go of our need to figure things out, to feel in control.
Now is the time to be. To feel. To go through it. To allow things to happen. To learn. To let whatever is being worked out in us take its course.
In hindsight, we will know. It will become clear. For today, being is enough. We have been told that all things shall work out for good in our life. We can trust that to happen, even if we cannot see the place today’s events will hold in the larger picture.
— Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go, p. 263
The Radical Difference Between Cynicism and Joy
For me it is amazing to experience daily the radical difference between cynicism and joy. Cynics seek darkness wherever they go. They point always to approaching dangers, impure motives, and hidden schemes. They call trust naive, care romantic, and forgiveness sentimental. They sneer at enthusiasm, ridicule spiritual fervor, and despise charismatic behavior. They consider themselves realists who see reality for what it truly is and who are not deceived by “escapist emotions.” But in belittling God’s joy, their darkness only calls forth more darkness.
People who have come to know the joy of God do not deny the darkness, but they choose not to live in it. They claim that the light that shines in the darkness can be trusted more than the darkness itself and that a little bit of light can dispel a lot of darkness. They point each other to flashes of light here and there, and remind each other that they reveal the hidden but real presence of God. They discover that there are people who heal each other’s wounds, forgive each other’s offenses, share their possessions, foster the spirit of community, celebrate the gifts they have received, and live in constant anticipation of the full manifestation of God’s glory.
Every moment of each day I have the chance to choose between cynicism and joy. Every thought I have can be cynical or joyful. Every word I speak can be cynical or joyful. Every action can be cynical or joyful. Increasingly I am aware of all these possible choices, and increasingly I discover that every choice for joy in turn reveals more joy and offers more reason to make life a true celebration in the house of the Father.
— Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son, p. 117-118
A Universalist Vision of the Church
In the church one finds people from every tribe and tongue joined in one body. One day it will not simply be people called out from every tribe and nation who love the Lord but the totality of every tribe and nation. Our calling is to act as a prophetic sign to the nations representing the destiny of all humanity. When people look at the church, God wants them to see a vision of what redeemed humanity can be — what it will be. . . . The church is called to be a reconciled humanity that in Christ has transcended all the barriers that fracture human communities. Paul brings out the socio-ethical implications very clearly in his concern that divisions between Jew and Gentile must be transcended in Christ. They are united in Christ. It is a very high calling and both a major challenge and inspiration to our practices. It is a calling rooted in the realized eschatology of the New Testament — the churches experience this reconciliation now as a sign of the fullness in the age to come, when all humanity will be summed up in Christ and reconciled to God and each other. Sadly, we model this reconciliation in very imperfect ways in our churches, and this is both a major failure on our part and an evidence that the fullness is yet to come, even for the church….
The vision also connects with the theology and practice of worship. The dream that inspires the universalist is one in which the whole of creation — all creatures great and small — join together in a symphony of worship to their creator. The day when every knee will bow and every tongue will worship is what we long for. To the universalist, the worship of the church in the present age is an eschatological act — a foretaste of the age to come. When we meet together to worship God we are anticipating the day when all creation will love him. So Christian worship is an act of hope and a prophetic sign on the part of those who live by the power of the coming age even in the midst of this present darkness….
Christian universalists share with non-universalists many of their motivations for gospel proclamation: to obey Christ’s command, to save people from the coming wrath, to bring them into living fellowship with the triune God and his church. However, Christian universalists are perhaps more likely to be additionally inspired by a more unusual reason — the vision that in proclaiming the gospel one is playing a part in God’s glorious purpose of reconciling the whole of creation (Col 1:20) and summing all things up in Christ (Eph 1:10). Working with the Spirit in bringing about this glorious destiny is a strong motive for evangelism and mission in its broader sense also.
— Gregory MacDonald, The Evangelical Universalist, p. 167-168
Accountability
Stop making excuses for other people.
Stop making excuses for ourselves.
While it is our goal to develop compassion and achieve forgiveness, acceptance, and love, it is also our goal to accept reality and hold people accountable for their behavior. We can also hold ourselves accountable for our own behavior, and, at the same time, have compassion and understanding for ourselves.
— Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go, p. 260
Revisioning Work
One problem with the word work is that it has come to be equated with drudgery, and is considered degrading. Now some work is drudgery, though it is not always degrading. Vacuuming the house or scrubbing out the refrigerator is drudgery for me, though I find it in no way degrading. And that it is drudgery is lack in me. I enjoy the results and so I should enjoy producing the results. I suspect that it is not the work itself which is the problem, but that it is taking me from other work, such as whatever manuscript I am currently working on. Drudgery is not what work is meant to be. Our work should be our play. If we watch a child at play for a few minutes, “seriously” at play, we see that all his energies are concentrated on it. He is working very hard at it. And that is how the artist works, although the artist may be conscious of discipline while the child simply experiences it.
— Madeleine L’Engle, Sold Into Egypt, quoted by Carole F. Chase in Glimpses of Grace, p. 235-236
Rejoice
Rejoice in the abundance of being able to awaken each morning and experience a new day. Be glad to be alive, to be healthy, to have friends, to be creative, to be a living example of the joy of living. Live your highest awareness. Enjoy your transformational process.
— Louise L. Hay, You Can Heal Your Life, p. 121
Joyful Acceptance
Let’s make the decision to joyfully accept all situations — the lines, the traffic jams, the downed computers, and the rest — as opportunities to include God in our lives, in that moment, and then wait for the change in perception that will assuredly come.
— Karen Casey, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow, p. 14-15
Desire as Tyrant
When the deepest desire we feel within our hearts is for something other than God, a spirit of entitlement develops. We see ourselves as needing something we don’t have and we believe we should have. Justice is on our side. So we think. Prayer becomes demand when desire becomes our tyrant.
Soon we’re caught in the addictive cycle. Whatever brings satisfaction relieves pain for the moment, then creates deeper emptiness that, in turn, more rudely clamors for relief. We lose our power to choose. The will becomes a slave to whatever god makes us feel better. We die as persons while Satan chuckles.
— Larry Crabb, Shattered Dreams, p. 86
Give Yourself a Break
It is important to be gentle with and accepting of yourself throughout your relationship. You are just as flawed, misguided, and hurtful as your lover, and you both need a good dose of TLC. While the idea of self-forgiveness might be a “duh” to many of you, the point still needs to be made. Self-forgiveness enables you to move on with kindness after grieving your flaws and the ways you have hurt your lover. When you forgive yourself, you look for your good qualities, appreciate the love you offer, and accept with humility the harm you cause. You also change your story to reflect your positive intention and your effort to do the best you can with what you have to work with.
Self-forgiveness is not that different from forgiving your partner. . . .
Nobody is perfect, and everybody will make many mistakes. Some of us make mistakes that cause harm, and others make mistakes that only cause a mess. Because you and your partner are human beings, you will make mistakes, fail occasionally, and sometimes even harm other people. Your need to be perfect is an unenforceable rule, one that can never be met. Needing to never hurt your lover is an unenforceable rule. Demanding that you always be successful in all aspects of your relationship is an unenforceable rule. When you accept that you are human, you are able to offer forgiveness to yourself and remember that you have the resources at your disposal to improve yourself and help others.
— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 209-210, 215