You always have the choice between hanging on and letting go. Next time you’re beginning to feel overly victimized by life, practice saying, “So what?” to yourself and feel the anxiety drop away.
— Karen Casey, Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow, p. 22
You can only distinguish truth from error in one way: namely, by the fruits that follow in your own life and the lives of those who proclaim what they call truth. That is, if the new illumination gives you the power to love and trust God more than you did before; to love all your fellow men in the One Body of Mankind; and to long to treat them only as you wish to be treated yourself; this is how you may discern the truth. If you are able to love even those who wound your feelings and misconstrue your intentions; to accept it all with no resentment, bitterness, or self-pity, but with praise and thanksgiving, just as Jesus would; if this new belief raises you to a still higher level of love than you had reached before, then you may be sure that what you have seen is not false, but a part of a higher truth that you have not yet seen fully. . . .
It is possible, however, that in the future you may believe that you have been shown a yet higher facet of truth and find yourself reacting to reproaches and misunderstanding with resentment or anger. You may begin to feel superior to others and to forget that even those who attack you are members of the One Body of Mankind in whom the Lord of Love is also conscious. You may begin to belittle or to denounce them and to exalt yourself in your own thoughts. Then you may well doubt whether the new supposed truth is true after all. For only what is true itself can deliver you and set you free from everything which is not of the truth, and which is unlike the Ideal of the Kingdom of Heaven. So, remember, you can only discern between truth and falsity, the good and the evil, by the attitudes, reactions, and way of life which they awaken in you as you accept them.
— Hannah Hurnaud, Eagles’ Wings to the Higher Places, p. 52-53
Still, the truth with all its potential for causing pain is real and enduring — it won’t go away. Unlike the confusing and ephemeral lie, the truth informs, clarifies, and teaches. The truth feels right because it is right.
Even if the particular relationship they were in didn’t have a happy ending, the women who were told the truth were given a powerful gift. They finally had a chance to understand what was really happening. They had won another chance to build their future on more solid ground. Although they had feared the truth, it was the lie and all it represented that had caused them and their partnerships the most grievous damage and robbed them of choice.
— Dory Hollander, PhD, 101 Lies Men Tell Women: And Why Women Believe Them, p. 270-271
We often say, “All of life should be lived in gratitude,” but this gratitude is only possible if at certain times we give thanks in a very concrete and visible way.
— Henri J. M. Nouwen, Clowning in Rome, p. 73-74
It’s okay to be gentle with ourselves when we’re going through change and grief. Yes, we want to maintain the disciplines of recovery. But we can be compassionate with ourselves. We do not have to expect more from ourselves than we can deliver during this time. We do not even have to expect as much from ourselves as we would normally and reasonably expect.
We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. We may be more needy and have less to give. It is okay to accept ourselves, and our changed needs, during times of grief, stress, and change.
It is okay to allow ourselves to cocoon during times of transformation. We can surrender to the process, and trust that a new, exciting energy is being created within us.
Before long, we will take wings and fly.
— Melody Beattie, The Language of Letting Go, p. 298-299
There isn’t anything that happens that can’t teach us something, that can’t be turned into something positive. One can’t undo what’s been done, but one can use it creatively…. The only thing is to accept, and let the scar heal. Scar tissue is the strongest tissue in the body…. So, I shouldn’t be surprised if it’s the strongest part of the soul.
— Madeleine L’Engle, A House Like a Lotus, quoted by Carole F. Chase in Glimpses of Grace, p. 271
If you try to see being a parent as something bound and dictated by certain behaviors and rules, you are in for big trouble. Being a parent is no different than being a child. If it becomes a set of rigid rules you must live by, life loses its joy and becomes a state of constant criticism. Talk with your mate, too, about giving yourselves some of the freedom the children have. Make fun of yourselves and your quirks so you can laugh and relax. The world is a serious enough place. Lighten up and be a joyful example to your family rather than a slave to the arbitrary expectations of conformity.
— Bernie Siegel, MD, Love, Magic & Mudpies, p. 76
When the heart is ready for a fresh beginning, unforeseen things can emerge. And in a sense, this is exactly what a beginning does. It is an opening for surprises. Surrounding the intention and the act of beginning, there are always exciting possibilities.
— John O’Donohue, To Bless the Space Between Us, p. 5
Warning: Forgiveness and opening up to more abuse are not the same thing. Forgiveness has to do with the past. Reconciliation and boundaries have to do with the future. Limits guard my property until someone has repented and can be trusted to visit again. And if they sin, I will forgive again, seventy times seven. But I want to be around people who honestly fail me, not dishonestly deny that they have hurt me and have no intent to do better. That is destructive for me and for them. If people are owning their sin, they are learning through failure. We can ride that out. They want to be better, and forgiveness will help. But if someone is in denial, or only giving lip service to getting better, without trying to make changes, or seeking help, I need to keep my boundaries, even though I have forgiven them.
— Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, Boundaries, p. 263
Happy women know that a good attitude, valued relationships, and a meaningful life are the central ingredients for happiness.
— Dan Baker, PhD, and Cathy Greenberg, PhD, What Happy Women Know, p. 237