Jesus eliminates any gray areas for grudges. In fact He says that our attitude is to be so far removed from avenging ourselves that we are willing to open ourselves to the possibility of being taken advantage of again.
— John Bevere, The Bait of Satan, p. 137
If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.
— Lemony Snicket, Horseradish, p. 77
You still need to be open with your partner about the things he or she does that are hurtful, offensive, or selfish. You don’t have to be a martyr about it. A strong, healthy relationship needs open communication, and letting your partner know how he or she is hurting the relationship is necessary for things to improve. The important thing is to forgive your lover before you initiate that talk. Then you can talk openly and pleasantly, without anger….
Forgiveness does not solve every problem. But it does reduce the intensity of emotional distress so that our problems can be talked about and solved if possible. Blaming our partners for not being the person we want them to be creates anger in both us and them. This anger causes stress.
— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 105-107
A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.
— Lemony Snicket, Horseradish, p. 76
I am trying to remind you to be humble about your own flaws and to remember that you too regularly require forgiveness. If you want a successful relationship, you need to be gentle with the inevitable flaws of your lover. I also want you to understand that dealing kindly with the mistakes and wounds of your partner is how you open yourself up to true love…. Coming home to a passionate sex partner who was also a great cook, hard worker, high wage earner, good communicator, and all-round fabulous person would be great. The problem with that scenario is twofold. First, what would such a perfect person want with us, and second, how would we learn to really love if our needs were always met with a smile? It is easy to love those who never test us because they are always giving and never in a bad mood. It is difficult to love real people because they ask us to give and give and forgive and be humble….
There must be something we need to learn from our partners’ weaknesses and our own weaknesses. It may be that when we love our partners in a way that includes their differences and flaws, we go deep enough to create an enduring partnership. When we are cruel and dismissive about our differences and our partners’ weaknesses, we impose our fantasy of how a lover should be on a live human being…. Forgiveness emerges once we accept the challenge of loving the real person we are with. Only then can we begin to develop a deep and lasting partnership.
— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 105
One of the world’s tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island, because people always answer “a deck of cards” or “Anna Karenina” when the obvious answer is “a well-equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want.”
— Lemony Snicket, Horseradish:Â Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid, p. 67
The next step in this process is to honor without resentment the flawed nature of the human being with whom you share your life. By definition, you are with someone who has significant limitations. Unfortunately, you did not get in the line where they were offering saints, angels, personal saviors, or slaves. You got in the line for a regular person, warts and all. Learning to accept your partner’s limitations with tenderness is the next step of forgiveness and the opening to a true love.
— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive For Love, p. 99
There are some who say that you should forgive everyone, even the people who have disappointed you immeasurably. There are others who say you should not forgive anyone, and should stomp off in a huff no matter how many times they apologize. Of these two philosophies, the second one is of course much more fun, but it can also grow exhausting to stomp off in a huff every time someone has disappointed you, as everyone disappoints everyone eventually, and one can’t stomp off in a huff every minute of the day.
— Lemony Snicket, Horseradish:Â Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid, p. 26
A certain Russian writer said that happy families are all alike, which is absurd. Some happy families do nothing but train seals all day, while others prefer to paint pictures of flowers on pieces of pottery and sell them for outrageous prices at fairs. There are happy families who consist of nothing but a happy father and his happy twin sons, and there are happy families who have so many happy cousins that whenever the happy family wants to go somewhere together they have to rent an entire happy bus to do so. There are happy families who live in the happy center of certain happy cities, and there are happy families who rent a different happy hut on a different happy island every happy week. Really the only thing that all happy families have in common is happiness and perhaps a certain sagginess around the cheeks from smiling all the livelong day.
— Lemony Snicket, Horseradish:Â Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid, p. 24
On being shewn into an elegant dressing room, ornamented with festoons of artificial flowers, they were struck with the engaging Exterior and beautifull outside of Jezalina the eldest of the young Ladies, but e’er they had been many minutes seated, the Wit and Charms which shone resplendent in the conversation of the amiable Rebecca, enchanted them so much that they all with one accord jumped up and exclaimed.
“Lovely and too charming Fair one, notwithstanding your forbidding Squint, your greazy tresses and your swelling Back, which are more frightfull than imagination can paint or pen describe, I cannot refrain from expressing my raptures, at the engaging Qualities of your Mind, which so amply atone for the Horror, with which your first appearance must ever inspire the unwary visitor.”
— Jane Austen at 12, in “Frederic and Elfrida,” Minor Works