A Gift

Letting Go, Life, Trials 0

“Although not knowing may itself seem like a bad thing, I am convinced it is one of the great gifts of the dark night of the soul.  To be immersed in mystery can be very distressing at first, but over time I have found immense relief in it.  It takes the pressure off.  I no longer have to worry myself to death about what I did right or wrong to cause a good or a bad experience — because there really is no way of knowing.  I don’t have to look for spiritual lessons in every trouble that comes along.  There have been many spiritual lessons to be sure, but they’ve been given to me in the course of life; I haven’t had to figure out a single one.”

— Gerald G. May, The Dark Night of the Soul, p. 15

Not a Communication Problem

Compassion, Core Value, Relationships 0

“It is nearly impossible to understand other people’s perspectives when you’re angry or resentful.  You never have a complete view of a negotiation, even when your part is factually right.

“It’s not a communication problem.  You’re not capable of seeing their side.

“Anger and resentment amplify and magnify only the negative aspect of something, which blows it out of proportion and takes it out of context.

“Anger and resentment make you oversimplify and see only one negative aspect of something.  Even if you are right in your appraisal of that negative aspect, you are oversimplifying when you’re resentful or angry.

“The person you’re angry at will not see that you are right as long as he or she feels devalued.

“You can’t be defensive and listen at the same time.”

— Steven Stosny, Compassion Power Boot Camp