This doesn’t mean that what’s been done to you isn’t terrible But there is simply no comfort in unforgiveness. It soothes nothing. It takes you nowhere. Why go on letting it eat you alive when God’s strength is so near at hand, so ready to bring you relief?
— Nancy DeMoss, Choosing Forgiveness, p. 170
It pains me to see standers giving up the battle without a fight. They mistakenly believe that quitting is easier than standing. God has called you to stand for your family. He will not give you peace when you are disobedient to His calling. Remember what happened to Jonah when he acted in a way opposite of God’s will for him. Quitting is actually doing things the hard way. By doing things God’s way, the burden of responsibility is lifted from one’s shoulders. Let Jesus carry the load and rest knowing that He will
always be with you, encouraging you along the way.
Dennis Wingfield, “Standing Firm,” February 11, 2008, issue
God is so amazingly generous. I ask, he gives. Just like that. I worry; he counsels me in the night. He molds my very heart in his hands and instructs me in his ways.
— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer, p. 255
“Where is your faith?” he asked them, and suddenly I realized that shrieking to Jesus to help me and having faith that he would take care of me were not the same thing. Faith, that elusive gift that I could not earn, did nevertheless require doing something, something specific. I had to calm myself with the certainty that I was loved and would be taken care of. “Like a weaned child with its mother,” I had to calm myself enough to let my master sleep.
— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer, p. 248
Today, though, I choose to worship a God whose justice is beyond my understanding in all particulars but this one that my children have taught me: God is not mean.
God gave me a husband who loves me and children who are not horribly sick and a job I like and a mother-in-law who passes on her cars to us for their bluebook prices and, two Sundays ago, eight newborn Labrador puppies who are just now opening their eyes…. God hears my prayers and answers them in my best interest, every one of them, although I sometimes don’t recognize that he has or agree with him about what my best interest might be….
God is not mean. He chose me, despite my own frequent meanness. He chose me when there were better people. Better mothers. Better writers. Better Christians. Better cooks, probably. There are so many others that he could have chosen, others that I hope he will choose, every one of them. And after he chose me he has kept on choosing me: rewarding me, reassuring me, burying me in blessings.
Our God, I have learned from my daughters, is the God of promises — promises of healing and happiness and all good things — for those who look forward to their own fulfillment. Promises available not only in the Word of God but in all creation, in newborn puppies with their eyes still closed and ditches and frothed milk and silly games. In children. In our ability to imagine heaven.
— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer, p. 229-232
And so, I believe I’m wrong to expect disasters, which isn’t to say they won’t happen. But if they do, they won’t be payback, but rather — I try to believe this — new opportunities for God to show his very particular love for me.
— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer, p. 226
Most of all, though, I need what I never realized I had all along: a perfect Parent in addition to my fallible earthly ones. A Father who honors me and loves me, despite my failings, and takes my troubles seriously. A Father entirely worthy of my honor.
— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer, p. 195
Forgiveness is more about our present life than about our past…. In my own situation, I had realized that the heart of what I was feeling was an inability to find love and happiness in my current life. I blamed the person who hurt me in the past for my unhappiness, but in fact I was upset at the condition of my life in the present. I saw that if I wanted to get better, I would have to focus more on the present and future than on the past.
— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 34
When Jesus spoke to Paul on the road to Damascus, Paul had just helped murder Stephen and possibly many other Christians. But Jesus merely said to Paul that the way he had chosen was difficult, and to follow him instead. Jesus didn’t discuss Paul’s mistakes. Nor did the father of the prodigal son discuss his boy’s “sins against heaven.” God doesn’t dwell on our errors. Do we know better than God what to think about? All any mistake requires is correction.
— Hugh Prather, Spiritual Notes to Myself, p. 138
Research shows that learning to forgive or being a forgiving person helps you feel better physically. The reasons are simple. It is very stressful to be constantly at war with certain parts of your life. Telling yourself again and again that you got a raw deal because your husband does not love you the way you want to be loved is hard on your heart and nervous system. Blaming someone who does not care about you enough for the way your life turned out is incredibly stressful. Dwelling on the ex who didn’t love you and has since moved on puts a strain on your nervous system and does not slow your ex down at all. Finally, it is stressful and ultimately self-defeating to complain about things you can’t change in your spouse. If your wife is messy and has always been messy, constantly expressing your displeasure about it will not do your muscles or arteries any good. Nor will it make you or her feel better or get along any better.
The reality is that resentment and stress can further damage your relationship as well as your nervous system, while forgiveness can reduce the harm caused by these negative feelings. By forgiving, we are able to let go of our resentment and reduce the stress it places on our body.
— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Good, p. 31-32