Core Value
What you cannot get from others is your core value, your internal sense of importance, value, worthiness, equality, and personal power — your ability to act according to your own…
Search Results for: stosny
10 Posts
How to Feel Lovable
If you want to feel lovable, the easiest way is to be compassionate to someone — a child, friend, stranger — anyone will do. — Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have…
Choosing to Heal
If you choose to heal — and it is certainly your choice — you make the choice out of compassion for yourself, with awareness that your emotional health and well-being…
No Longer a Victim or even Survivor
The goal of healing is to have whatever harm you’ve suffered become the least important thing about you. Other people’s behavior is not about you at all. Only your core…
The Golden Rule of Self-Esteem
The road to psychological ruin begins with blame. The road to psychological power begins with responsibility. You cannot blame and find good solutions at the same time. You must choose…
Normal Negative Feelings
“Disappointment, sadness, anxiety, and distress are part of everyday living. Only if they stimulate core hurts that are blamed on someone else will they become anger. “Disappointment means you didn’t…
Justifying your Emotions
“General Rule: If you have to justify your emotions or behavior, to yourself or others, they are almost always harmful. “The urge to justify should be a trigger to heal…
Its Own Reward
“We can never feel taken advantage of or exploited in the experience of compassion, for compassion is its own reward. Even if it turns out that someone else’s defenses or…
Make It Better
“If you feel devalued by something your partner, child, or parent says or does, he or she probably feels devalued too. Devaluing him or her in return will only make…
Learning Relationships
“Attachment is like languages — you have to tolerate feeling not good at it in order to get better at it.” — Steven Stosny, Compassion Power Boot Camp