Just like the level of resentment you carry, the amount of suffering you endure is entirely up to you. Change your limiting beliefs about suffering and the subtle ways you cause yourself to suffer, and I guarantee at least 50 percent of your suffering will disappear. (And how many martyrs does it take to change that lightbulb? Absolutely none, because they all just sit in the dark — by their own choice — and quietly suffer.)
— Christel Nani, Sacred Choices, p. 207