“No one has ever been made more sensitive or more thoughtful by being judged, bullied, or frightened. Putting pressure on others doesn’t change their hearts. It merely engages us in a pointless conflict that splits our mind and muddles our emotions.”
— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 9
“Ideally, detachment is releasing, or detaching from, a person or problem in love…. Detachment is based on the premises that each person is responsible for himself, that we can’t solve problems that aren’t ours to solve, and that worrying doesn’t help. We adopt a policy of keeping our hands off other people’s responsibilities and tend to our own instead. If people have created some disasters for themselves, we allow them to face their own proverbial music. We allow people to be who they are. we give them the freedom to be responsible and to grow. And we give ourselves the same freedom.”
— Melody Beattie, Codependent No More, p. 56
“We obviously can’t let go if we are waiting to be saved. Certainly there are real victims, but most of us put ourselves in this role needlessly. And we do it every day.
“When our goal is to maintain our sense of wholeness and connectedness regardless of what the day throws at us, we simply will not become a victim. Nothing is ‘beyond our control’ because we are not interested in control. We let the people and situations we encounter be who and what they are. We are not motivated to reform or remake them. This doesn’t mean we like how everyone behaves, nor does it mean that we fail to protect ourselves and loved ones from destructive people. But if we commit ourselves to changing even pleasant people when they don’t want to change, we instantly become victims of their reactions. Each little response to our efforts pulls at the strings of our emotions.”
— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 8-9.
“Make your state of mind more important than what you are doing.”
— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 7
“Not only do we give people a piece of our mind, we give them a piece of our happiness, wholeness, focus, and sometimes, a piece of our health.
— Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go, p. 5
“Love isn’t what you feel. Love is what you do.”
–Madeleine L’Engle, A Wind in the Door
“Standing for your marriage is showing unconditional love to a spouse who does not deserve your love, and trusting God to do what he has promised, changing first you, and then your spouse, to be what the Lord intends.”
— Bob Steinkamp, www.rejoiceministries.org
“Even if you choose not to continue your marriage, you still have to recover from the trauma you’ve been through. The road to recovery can be a stimulus for growth whether you travel it with your partner or you make your way alone. It’s a difficult road, but it is passable and well traveled for all its difficulties, and it’s important to know that it is there for you and anyone who wants to follow it.”
— Shirley P. Glass, NOT “Just Friends,” p. 12
“If we turn a bitter face to the world, for whatever reason, we can expect little else in return. If, however, we face adversity with a sense of humor and hold to a base of gratitude for what we have, we’re likely to find people responding to us in kind.”
— Leo Buscaglia, Born for Love, p. 50
“When he told us not to cast our pearls before swine, for example, it was not to be mean but because he knew that swine cannot digest pearls; they do them no good (Matt. 7:6). We, too, should have the good sense to refrain from giving people truth that they are not ready to receive, for it will do them no good.”
— Richard J. Foster, Prayer, p. 232