The Message of Your Pain
Resentful, angry, and abusive people drastically misinterpret the message of their own pain. . . . The bad feelings your husband blames on you are telling him to improve, appreciate,…
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10 Posts
Happiness in Marriage
The most potent predictor of being happily married is being happy before you marry. Marriage does not make you happy, although the prospect of sharing life with a loved one…
The Opposite of Resentment
The emotional opposite of resentment is forgiveness. However, forgiveness does not mean condoning or overlooking the offense. It does not mean reconciling with someone who has hurt you. Neither does…
Unwise Trust
No one has felt hurt due to compassion, although many people have been harmed by unwise trust. Compassion makes us less likely to trust unwisely, as it provides deeper understanding…
A Bright Future
You can outgrow the wounds of the past with a deep appreciation of yourself, your courage, sensitivity, resilience, and desire for a better life. You have enormous power and potential…
Connection Is the Key
Just as nothing can be more important to you as an individual than remaining true to your core value, nothing can be more important to you as a couple than…
You don’t have to hurt back.
Don’t attempt to justify whatever hurt you did, for that will serve to keep open your wounds. Don’t say, “I only hurt you because you hurt me.” Healing requires acceptance…
The Key to Intimate Relationships
Here’s the hot and hard truth: Only your own loving behavior can make you feel worthy of love. It’s not rocket science. The only way to feel lovable is to…
Love yourself by feeling compassion
In the Love yourself step, recognize the core value of the person who offended you. He/she is far more complicated, complex, and humane than whatever he or she did to…
Power Statement
I will work hard to heal my hurt. This means understanding my own deepest emotions and those of all my loved ones. I will not hurt their feelings or try…