Men and women who rise strong are willing and able to reckon with their emotions. First, they recognize that they’re feeling something — a button has been pushed, they’re hooked, something is triggered, their emotions are off-kilter. Second, they get curious about what’s happening and how what they’re feeling is connected to their thoughts and behaviors. Engaging in this process is how we walk into our story.
— Brené Brown, Rising Strong, p. 40
Grievances don’t make you happy: Sometimes we hold on to grievances because we are afraid that our past was our best chance for happiness. However, you can’t continue to carry a grievance and hope to be happy. To be truly happy, you have to be willing to make love more important than your grievances, your ego, and your past. There comes a time, then when you have to accept that every grievance has an expiration date. By being willing to forgive, you come to see that there is life after a grievance.
— Robert Holden, Loveability, p. 182
I believe it is not only permissible but a religious obligation to question the existence of God if you are troubled by some of the things you were taught, to question the divine origin of things that are said in God’s name, and then to go on and search for answers to your questions. The only religiously unacceptable response is to reject religion entirely and close your mind to further speculation. I cannot believe that God would bless us with a critical intelligence, with the ability to extend the frontiers of knowledge and understanding when it comes to biology and psychology, and then say to us, “Stop, go no further†when it comes to theology. For me, the alternative to faith is not doubt but despair, the conclusion that we are alone in a cold and unreliable world.
— Harold S. Kushner, Nine Essential Things I’ve Learned About Life, p. 120-121.
In the parable of the treasure hidden in a field, Jesus’ purpose was not to explain the gospel in theological terms but rather to emphasize its dramatic effect on the believer. “In his joy,†we read, the man in the story gave up everything he had in exchange for his newfound treasure. He would never have done this for the sake of doubt or guilt, which are poor motivators. Though a man may feel ever so justified for his doubts, and though he may feel ever so virtuous about the load of guilt he carries – for doesn’t this show how well he understands his sinfulness? – still such feelings can never motivate him to live as God wants him to.
To follow and obey God, we need joy. We need to catch a glimpse of the greatest treasure of all – the “inexpressible and glorious joy†(I Peter 1:8) of believing in Christ.
— Mike Mason, Champagne for the Soul, p. 13-14
Emotions are part of a motivational system; they exist not to punish but to motivate behavior that will help. Negative emotions do not indicate that you’re bad; they tell you to do better. They’re correction messages, not failure messages.
— Steven Stosny, PhD, Soar Above, p. 40
It often helps to explain that forgiveness is not saying it didn’t matter; it is not saying we simply choose to overlook the offense. Forgiveness is saying the cross is enough — we require no further payment than Jesus paid. Forgiveness is releasing the person to God for him to deal with.
— John Eldredge, Moving Mountains, p. 195
But what happens when life presents you with unavoidable or overwhelming suffering? This is where the example of the Jesuit approach to obedience may be helpful. What enables a Jesuit to accept difficult decisions by his superior is the same thing that can help you: the realization that this is what God is inviting you to experience at this moment. It is the understanding that somehow God is with you, at work and revealed in a new way in this experience.
Let me be clear: I’m not saying that God wills suffering or pain. Nor that any of us will ever fully understand the mystery of suffering. Nor that you need to look at every difficulty as God’s will. Some suffering should be avoided, lessened, or combated: treatable illnesses, abusive marriages, unhealthy work situations, dysfunctional sexual relationships.
Nonetheless, Ciszek understood that God invites us to accept the inescapable realities placed in front of us. We can either turn away from that acceptance of life and continue on our own, or we can plunge into the “reality of the situation” and try to find God there in new ways. Obedience in this case means accepting reality.
— James Martin, S. J., The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything, p. 282-283.
Let us in all the troubles of life remember that our one lack is life — and what we need is more life — more of the life-making presence in us making us more, and more largely alive. When most oppressed, when most weary of “life,” as our unbelief would phrase it, let us remember that it is, in truth, the inroad and presence of death we are weary of. When most inclined to sleep, let us rouse ourselves to live.
— George MacDonald, Unspoken Sermons, Second Series, quoted in Knowing the Heart of God, edited by Michael Phillips, p. 21
The truest way to give up being a victim is to give up our need for revenge. One of the most hidden dynamics in any victim situation is the search for revenge. We are in a power struggle where the way to get back at someone is to hurt ourselves. As children, when we did not get what we wanted, we sometimes threw tantrums and hurt ourselves. We felt rejected, so we did something to get revenge.
— Chuck Spezzano, If It Hurts, It Isn’t Love, p. 95
Rising strong changes not just you, but also the people around you. To bear witness to the human potential for transformation through vulnerability, courage, and tenacity can be either a clarion call for more daring or a painful mirror for those of us stuck in the aftermath of the fall, unwilling or unable to own our stories. Your experience can profoundly affect the people around you whether you’re aware of it or not.
— Brené Brown, Rising Strong, p. 10