Jesus Flaunts His Love
Jesus flaunts his love for you. He waves his hand over you, signalling to all in sight that you are the one he loves.
— Beth Moore, Praying God’s Word Day by Day, June 11 entry
Category: Core Value
10 Posts
Do Not Lose Hope.
“When all of this comes to pass, My word to you is this: Do not lose hope. A plan is unfolding that you cannot clearly see. If you could see it as I do, you would still hurt, but you would not lose hope. You would gladly remain faithful to Me in the middle of the worst suffering. I guarantee you the power to please Me, not to have a good time. But pleasing Me will bring you great joy.
“In the deepest part of your soul, you long more than anything else to be a part of My plan, to further My kingdom, to know Me and please Me and enjoy Me. I will satisfy that longing. You have the power to represent Me well no matter what happens in your life. That is the hope I give you in this world. Don’t lose it.”
— Larry Crabb, Shattered Dreams:Â God’s Unexpected Pathway to Joy, p. 46
The Child Inside
For that delightful, exuberant, lovable child in us to come out and play and show his or her beautiful face in moments of intimacy and closeness, that child first has to be found. Secondly, that child must know that if he or she comes out to play he or she will be protected, valued, cherished, and cared for. That the child in us must feel this way isn’t optional: it’s essential and a prerequisite to intimacy.
— Melody Beattie, Beyond Codependency, p. 185
A Bright Future
You can outgrow the wounds of the past with a deep appreciation of yourself, your courage, sensitivity, resilience, and desire for a better life. You have enormous power and potential to become the person you were meant to be. Appreciate your strengths and resilience. Trust your inner voice — it tells you that you do not need to have value poured into you from outside sources. Your vessel is full and ready to “runneth over.” As you feel the light of your core value within, you can make it shine out of you, to illuminate all your days.
— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 316
Connection Is the Key
Just as nothing can be more important to you as an individual than remaining true to your core value, nothing can be more important to you as a couple than your emotional connection to one another.
You cannot resolve disputes with someone you love while being emotionally disconnected from that person. The disconnection hurts too much and feels too much like betrayal. To have any chance of finding your way out of a power struggle, you must try hard to make connection before you even attempt to solve the problem. Your relationship has to be more important than the content of your disagreement, as does the emotional well-being of the most important adult in your life.
— Steven Stosny, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore, p. 298
New Opportunities
So now you have the opportunity to keep your life gaslight-free and go on to a new future. You have the chance to rework or leave unsatisfying relationships and choose new relationships that feed your sense of self, your vitality, and your joy. You have the chance to become a stronger, more solid person who charts her own course and lives by her own values. Most important, you have the chance to discover what you truly want — in your work, your home life, your relationships, and yourself. Freed from the Gaslight Effect, you can make better choices, choices that are right for you. As you begin this exciting new portion of your life’s journey, I wish you strength and spirit and all the luck in the world.
— Dr. Robin Stern, The Gaslight Effect, p. 233
A Sense of Your Worth
The key to remaining gaslight-free is not to let your self-worth depend on someone else’s approval. If there is even one little part of you that wants the approval of another person to make you feel better about yourself, boost your confidence, or bolter your sense of who you are in the world, then you are a gaslightee waiting for a gaslighter. So developing a strong, clear sense of yourself and your worth is crucial to staying out of gaslighting relationships.
— Dr. Robin Stern, The Gaslight Effect, p. 224
Truth
Sometimes, you have to ask yourself what you really think, and go with that deep perception. If you find out you’re wrong, admit it and correct your error. If you find out you were right, congratulate yourself and move on. Either way, your starting point needs to be your sense of what’s true, not your gaslighter’s. If you’ve idealized your gaslighter and want to think well of him, you may be tempted to substitute his version of events for yours. But don’t. That’s how you start dancing the Gaslight Tango.
— Dr. Robin Stern, The Gaslight Effect, p. 174
Enjoying Yourself
Acknowledging your gifts and talents fills you with a sense of self-esteem — so you are not consumed by the need for approval to boost your reputation. It allows you to own your personal power and not give it away to others. When you have good self-esteem — which you develop by making commitments to yourself that you keep, valuing your personal code of honor, owning your gifts and talents, and letting go of false humility — you do not look for attention or validation from others….
The false modesty of ignoring or downplaying your gifts and talents is a slap in God’s face. You received a gift, yet will not own it.
— Christel Nani, Sacred Choices, p. 240-241
Redemption
Feeling badly about making a mistake is natural, but punishing yourself forever is never appropriate.
I urge you to fully examine your beliefs about mistakes and forgiveness. Most people cannot answer this simple question: “How much penance is appropriate to expunge your mistake?” I have seen countless people who are continually punishing themselves in an infinite variety of ways because of a perceived transgression in the past. Holding yourself to a so-called higher standard (others could be forgiven for this, but not me) does not make you a better person. It only makes you a more miserable person….
It is a choice if you focus on the worst parts of you, rather than the good. If you are having difficulty, then focus on helping someone in need, rather than wasting your time and effort on chastising yourself. Do something positive. Choose to ask for help — from God, your spiritual advisor, or your friends. Be honest and admit that you are in charge of how you treat yourself, and start treating yourself the way you would a friend.
— Christel Nani, Sacred Choices, p. 230-232