Letting the Master Sleep

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“Where is your faith?” he asked them, and suddenly I realized that shrieking to Jesus to help me and having faith that he would take care of me were not the same thing.  Faith, that elusive gift that I could not earn, did nevertheless require doing something, something specific.  I had to calm myself with the certainty that I was loved and would be taken care of.  “Like a weaned child with its mother,” I had to calm myself enough to let my master sleep.

— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer, p. 248

God Is Not Mean.

God, Gratitude, Joy, Life 0

Today, though, I choose to worship a God whose justice is beyond my understanding in all particulars but this one that my children have taught me:  God is not mean.

God gave me a husband who loves me and children who are not horribly sick and a job I like and a mother-in-law who passes on her cars to us for their bluebook prices and, two Sundays ago, eight newborn Labrador puppies who are just now opening their eyes….  God hears my prayers and answers them in my best interest, every one of them, although I sometimes don’t recognize that he has or agree with him about what my best interest might be….

God is not mean.  He chose me, despite my own frequent meanness.  He chose me when there were better people.  Better mothers.  Better writers.  Better Christians.  Better cooks, probably.  There are so many others that he could have chosen, others that I hope he will choose, every one of them.  And after he chose me he has kept on choosing me:  rewarding me, reassuring me, burying me in blessings.

Our God, I have learned from my daughters, is the God of promises — promises of healing and happiness and all good things — for those who look forward to their own fulfillment.  Promises available not only in the Word of God but in all creation, in newborn puppies with their eyes still closed and ditches and frothed milk and silly games.  In children.  In our ability to imagine heaven.

— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer, p. 229-232

Opportunities for God to Love Me

God, Life 0

And so, I believe I’m wrong to expect disasters, which isn’t to say they won’t happen.  But if they do, they won’t be payback, but rather — I try to believe this — new opportunities for God to show his very particular love for me.

— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer, p. 226

A Perfect Parent

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Most of all, though, I need what I never realized I had all along:  a perfect Parent in addition to my fallible earthly ones.  A Father who honors me and loves me, despite my failings, and takes my troubles seriously.  A Father entirely worthy of my honor.

— Patty Kirk, Confessions of an Amateur Believer, p. 195

Forgiveness Is About the Present

Forgiveness, Peace 0

Forgiveness is more about our present life than about our past….  In my own situation, I had realized that the heart of what I was feeling was an inability to find love and happiness in my current life.  I blamed the person who hurt me in the past for my unhappiness, but in fact I was upset at the condition of my life in the present.  I saw that if I wanted to get better, I would have to focus more on the present and future than on the past.

— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Love, p. 34

God Doesn’t Dwell on our Errors.

Forgiveness, God, Healing 0

When Jesus spoke to Paul on the road to Damascus, Paul had just helped murder Stephen and possibly many other Christians.  But Jesus merely said to Paul that the way he had chosen was difficult, and to follow him instead.  Jesus didn’t discuss Paul’s mistakes.  Nor did the father of the prodigal son discuss his boy’s “sins against heaven.”  God doesn’t dwell on our errors.  Do we know better than God what to think about?  All any mistake requires is correction.

— Hugh Prather, Spiritual Notes to Myself, p. 138

Forgiveness is Good for your Body.

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Research shows that learning to forgive or being a forgiving person helps you feel better physically.  The reasons are simple.  It is very stressful to be constantly at war with certain parts of your life.  Telling yourself again and again that you got a raw deal because your husband does not love you the way you want to be loved is hard on your heart and nervous system.  Blaming someone who does not care about you enough for the way your life turned out is incredibly stressful.  Dwelling on the ex who didn’t love you and has since moved on puts a strain on your nervous system and does not slow your ex down at all.  Finally, it is stressful and ultimately self-defeating to complain about things you can’t change in your spouse.  If your wife is messy and has always been messy, constantly expressing your displeasure about it will not do your muscles or arteries any good.  Nor will it make you or her feel better or get along any better.

The reality is that resentment and stress can further damage your relationship as well as your nervous system, while forgiveness can reduce the harm caused by these negative feelings.  By forgiving, we are able to let go of our resentment and reduce the stress it places on our body.

— Dr. Fred Luskin, Forgive for Good, p. 31-32

Even If Not

Forgiveness, God, Trials, Trust 0

He knows your heart, dear one.  He has not left you alone.  And by trusting in His sovereign wisdom, goodness, and love, you, too, may one day see the sweet restoration of everything you’ve prayed for.

But even if not, you will have found a refuge in His will and in His care — a blessed place that is reached only by those who trust His heart — and keep trusting it even when the darkness closes in around them.

— Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Choosing Forgiveness, p. 165

Choose Forgiveness

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So choose it!  Do it!  Don’t wait to feel like it or to figure out how it will all work out.  Ultimately, forgiveness is not an emotion.  It is an act of your will — an act of faith.  Don’t harbor that bitterness for even one more day.

— Nancy Leigh DeMoss, Choosing Forgiveness, p. 142

New Depths

Forgiveness, Joy, Love, Peace 0

When we choose to forgive others, even when they are not broken themselves, God pours out freedom, grace, peace, joy, love — and even forgiveness itself into our hearts.  It takes your breath away when you experience it yourself.  It takes you to depths with God that you never could have reached except through this mysterious path.

— testimonial quoted in Choosing Forgiveness, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss, p. 141