Maggie;
Or,
A Man and a Woman Walk into a Bar
by Katie Yee
read by Emily Woo Zeller
Simon & Schuster Audio, 2025. 6 hours, 48 minutes.
Review written March 17, 2026, from a library eaudiobook.
If I had realized this was a novel about a woman whose husband had an affair, I think I would have been smart enough to avoid it. As it was, I’m pretty sure I put this book in my eaudiobook holds queue because a friend of mine read it and loved it. But then it just so happened that I began listening to it on the very day 21 years after I discovered my then-husband was cheating on me.
So I can’t give this audiobook a rational, balanced review. Instead, I’m going to put in brackets the things it brought up in me. And just go with that.
I did listen to the whole book. I did enjoy the characters. I do think the book is well-written. I do realize that unhappy marriages are all unhappy in their own way and that every divorce is different. But there were still some things that really didn’t ring true for me.
Our protagonist and narrator of this book is a Chinese American woman who met her husband in a bar. Ever since she realized that her two children think that she isn’t as funny as their dad, she has been trying to learn to be funnier and to tell jokes.
And then her husband takes her out to a nice place and says, “I’m having an affair.” The other woman’s name is Maggie.
[My first big contrast is that, on that day 21 years before, my husband confessed with the words, “I’m not having an affair.” You see, I had found out that he had been at the other woman’s house after he got home from a work trip at midnight. He confessed to that – but said it wasn’t an affair. That he “needed a friend” and was spending time with her, had watched a movie together at her house at midnight. I believed him! I was used to believing my husband. A year and a half later of gaslighting and lying and mind games, he confessed that it had been an affair all along.]
Our protagonist has a best friend she talks things out with. [Yes! This is vital!] Her obsession with the other woman – stalking her on social media – rings true. [Thank goodness my husband’s affair happened before Facebook was a thing.]
Shortly after, she learns she has cancer. That rings true. I know of many women who have come down with ailments after emotional trauma. [I had a “non-healing wound” on my cervix and had surgery to remove uterine adhesions. My husband reluctantly brought the kids to see me one time during my week in the hospital.]
She names the tumor “Maggie.” I did think that was funny. The book is supposed to be about finding humor in bleak situations, which I appreciate, but it still comes out a little bleak. She didn’t tell her husband or kids about the cancer, only her best friend – which she is fortunately able to pull off.
I do appreciate finding humor and hope in tough times, and the power of friendship and laughter. But I probably shouldn’t read books about affairs any more than I should read books about librarians – it’s too easy for things to feel a bit off.
For example, how was she not curious about when he managed to spend the time with Maggie? How did her mind not circle over and over again around what she now knew were thousands of lies he had told? An affair does require thousands of lies for a moderately connected couple. Even the fact that he told her about it when she wasn’t a bit suspicious doesn’t ring true. From what I’ve read about affairs, it’s more common for a man to say the marriage is bad and leave first – and then pretend that he met the other woman after they separated. [Some good books that could have added realism to the situation are The Script, by Elizabeth Landers and Vicky Mainzer; NOT “Just Friends,” by Shirley P. Glass; and Runaway Husbands, by Vikki Stark.] What’s more, statistically, only 3% to 7% of men who have affairs go on to marry the affair partner, and 75% of those marriages don’t last. But her husband is making plans to be with Maggie. Maggie, I don’t foresee happiness for you with that cheater!
The protagonist was also surprisingly uncurious about how she would survive financially. She was a stay-at-home mother and didn’t seem to worry about keeping that up. Her husband was rich and there was mention of a generous settlement and that she could keep the house. She did look into the fact that she could stay on his health insurance for three years. Maybe she was okay because she went along with everything and let the divorce happen quickly? [In The Script, I learned that my situation was common – early on, while he’s still feeling guilty, the husband says he’ll take care of you, but as time goes on that looks like less and less actual support.] The book ended only a year after the announcement, so we didn’t get to see how she was going to start answering those questions.
But the other really big thing was that although this protagonist did have self-doubt because her all-American blond and blue-eyed husband found a woman who looked like him, there were no recriminations from her husband explaining how his affair was all her fault. [I personally would have thought that was just something that happened in my marriage because I was a just a bad wife, as my husband said I was – except that, thank goodness, I read The Script and learned it’s incredibly common for a man having an affair to convince himself and his wife that it is all her fault. That he had to turn to someone else. None of that in this book. Which made it less painful. But it also felt a bit unrealistic. They were nice to each other, as if an affair is just an unfortunate thing that happened to him – he got a woman Maggie, and she got a tumor Maggie. And maybe that’s healthier?]
[So, good grief, it’s been TWENTY-ONE YEARS!!! Am I not over this yet? Can’t I read a book blending a divorce with humor and not have it all come flooding back?
Added to the mix is that I’d been scheduled to actually see my ex-husband the day I started listening to the book. We’ve each been putting up our oldest adult child for a time and we were going to meet to have them switch homes. Something came up to put it off a week, but that had put the incident on my mind to start with.
But I have to add: I am in a VERY good place in my life. I love my job – feel like it’s what I was born to do. And I never would have gotten it if my husband hadn’t left me – I most likely would have never gotten my Master’s in Library Science and would have continued to work part-time. I have wonderful friends around me and meaningful pursuits and life is very good. At this point, I’m glad I’m not married to him anymore. But despite all that, reading a book about divorce on the anniversary of the day my life fell apart brings up some things.]
So for me, the initial breakup of my marriage was much, much worse than portrayed in this book, although at least I didn’t have cancer along with it. But I have surely gotten a happy ending out of it, and I’m confident this character will, too.
I know, this “review” wasn’t all that much about the book. You can consider this a trigger warning if you’re divorced. I do believe that good writing stirs emotions – and this book certainly did that for me. And here’s to coming through tough times with humor.
katieyee.net
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Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but the views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.
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