Review of Tiny Beautiful Things, by Cheryl Strayed

Musings, Nonfiction Review, Personal Growth, Relationships, Starred Review 0

tiny_beautiful_things_largeTiny Beautiful Things

Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

by Cheryl Strayed

Vintage Books (Random House), New York, 2012. 353 pages.
Starred Review

My son sent this book to me, and I love it so much. I love his words in the note that accompanied it: “Dear Sugar is… the sort of creature I am startled and pleased to find existing in the world. Like a Mister Rogers of heartbreak and anguish.”

Dear Sugar is an advice column for The Rumpus. There is a lot of heartbreak and anguish here. Definitely not neat and clean situations.

But Sugar (Cheryl Strayed) handles them all with so much grace! She relates things back to her own difficult life experiences and has much humble, practical wisdom to share. And all along, she addresses people with endearments and makes them feel like they’re okay.

I’m going to give some random quotations from her advice below. Perhaps it will give you the sweet flavor.

It’s going to be difficult, but that’s no surprise. The story of human intimacy is one of constantly allowing ourselves to see those we love most deeply in a new, more fractured light. Look hard. Risk that.

Be brave. Be authentic. Practice saying the word “love” to the people you love so when it matters the most to say it, you will.

Trust yourself. It’s Sugar’s golden rule. Trusting yourself means living out what you already know to be true.

Writing is hard for every last one of us — straight white men included. Coal mining is harder. Do you think miners stand around all day talking about how hard it is to mine for coal? They do not. They simply dig.

You need to do the same, dear sweet arrogant beautiful crazy talented tortured rising star glowbug.

There will be boondoggles and discombobulated days.

But it will be soul-smashingly beautiful, Solo. It will open up your life.

I have breathed my way through so many people I felt wronged by; through so many situations I couldn’t change. Sometimes while doing this I have breathed in acceptance and breathed out love. Sometimes I’ve breathed in gratitude and out forgiveness. Sometimes I haven’t been able to muster anything beyond the breath itself, my mind forced blank with nothing but the desire to be free of sorrow and rage.

What’s important is that you make the leap. Jump high and hard with intention and heart. Pay no mind to the vision the commission made up. It’s up to you to make your life. Take what you have and stack it up like a tower of teetering blocks. Build your dream around that.

You asked me for practical matchmaking solutions, but I believe once you allow yourself to be psychologically ready to give and receive love, your best course is to do what everyone who is looking for love does: put your best self out there with as much transparency and sincerity and humor as possible.

As you are surely aware, forgiveness doesn’t mean you let the forgiven stomp all over you once again. Forgiveness means you’ve found a way forward that acknowledges harm done and hurt caused without letting either your anger or your pain rule your life or define your relationship with the one who did you wrong. Sometimes those we forgive change their behavior to the extent that we can eventually be as close to them as we were before (or even closer). Sometimes those we forgive continue being the jackasses that they always were and we accept them while keeping them approximately three thousand miles away from our wedding receptions.

I’ll never know, and neither will you of the life you don’t choose. We’ll only know that whatever that sister life was, it was important and beautiful and not ours. It was the ghost ship that didn’t carry us. There’s nothing to do but salute it from the shore.

Isn’t love amazing that way? How it can bend with us through the years? It has to. It must. Lest it break.

Perhaps these give you the flavor. But dip into Tiny Beautiful Things and just see if you can come out again.

cherylstrayed.com
vintagebooks.com

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Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.

Source: This review is based on my own copy, given to me by my son.

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but I maintain my website and blogs on my own time. The views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.

Review of One Dead Spy, by Nathan Hale

Children's Fiction Review, Graphic Novel, Historical, Starred Review 0

one_dead_spy_largeNathan Hale’s Hazardous Tales

One Dead Spy

by Nathan Hale

Abrams, 2012. 127 pages.
Starred Review

Once again, I’m struck by what a brilliant idea it is to show kids history in graphic novel form.

The frame of this series is pure fantasy. Our hero is Nathan Hale, the Revolutionary War spy. Somehow, I’m simply not surprised that he’s the hero chosen by the author Nathan Hale, who was born in 1976.

Before the historical Nathan Hale’s scheduled hanging, there’s a silly sequence about how he comes up with his famous line, “I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.” When he does, a giant book with the title, The Big Huge Book of American History appears and swallows him whole. But then he comes back, having seen hundreds of years into the future of this country.

The executioner asks, “How could you see the future in a history book? It doesn’t make any sense.”

Nathan Hale answers, “A giant book just swallowed me whole. Does that make sense?”

But then, to prove he’s seen the future, Nathan Hale begins telling stories to the executioner and the British officer overseeing the hanging. They decide he can tell more stories before he hangs, which is the premise of the series.

And the stories Nathan Hale tells are true, with plenty of invented dialog and put into comic book form.

This first book tells about Nathan Hale’s life and his service in the Revolutionary War. Once I started reading, I couldn’t stop. (And it’s not long, either.)

Did you know that Nathan Hale wasn’t actually a very good spy? He got caught on his first mission. But he was involved in some noteworthy exploits before he became a spy. I especially found interesting the way the cannons from Fort Ticonderoga got moved to liberate Boston Harbor, and the way General Washington had a fort built and moved into place in one night.

I love the warning on the back cover:

HAZARD LEVEL: Yellow/ Lethal

Riots, massacre, starvation, fever, theft, spycraft, mercenaries, sea warfare, land warfare, lightning, exploding cows, and death by hanging.

Do you know any school-age kids who can resist such a warning?

hazardoustales.com
amuletbooks.com

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Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.

Source: This review is based on a library book from Fairfax County Public Library.

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but I maintain my website and blogs on my own time. The views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.

Please use the comments if you’ve read the book and want to discuss spoilers!

Review of Handle with Care: An Unusual Butterfly Journey, by Loree Griffin Burns and Ellen Harasimowicz

Children's Nonfiction Review, Science, Starred Review 0

handle_with_care_largeHandle with Care

An Unusual Butterfly Journey

by Loree Griffin Burns
photographs by Ellen Harasimowicz

Millbrook Press, Minneapolis, 2014. 33 pages.
Starred Review

This beautifully photographed book tells the true story of an unusual farm – El Bosque Nuevo, in Costa Rica, where they grow butterfly pupae.

This story begins with a museum in Boston receiving a box full of butterfly pupae which are about to become butterflies. Then it zooms to Costa Rica and shows us the screened greenhouses where the butterfly farmers keep the butterflies.

The book shows all the parts of the process, including feeding the butterflies with crushed bananas and sugar water, searching the leaves for predators, making sure the growing caterpillars get plenty to eat, and gathering the ones almost ready to become pupae.

They explain the stages of an insect’s life. The blue morpho caterpillar grown at El Bosque Nuevo changes its patterns dramatically at each stage of molting.

The pictures show workers sorting hundreds of pupae to send out, shows how they are kept in the museum, and finally shows the wonder of a little girl looking at a newly-emerged butterfly.

For those who want to know more, the back matter is most interesting. This is a nice twist on a simple book about butterflies – shows an actual butterfly farm and the entire process of growing a butterfly.

loreeburns.com
ellenharasimowicz.com
lerneresource.com

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Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.

Source: This review is based on a library book from Fairfax County Public Library.

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but I maintain my website and blogs on my own time. The views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.

Review of Sparky! by Jenny Offill & Chris Appelhans

Contemporary, Picture Book Review, Starred Review 0

sparky_largeSparky!

by Jenny Offill
illustrated by Chris Appelhans

Schwartz & Wade Books, New York, 2014. 36 pages.
Starred Review

The girl in this book wants a pet. After much begging, her mother promises that she can have any pet she wants as long as it doesn’t need to be walked or bathed or fed.

She gets a sloth. She names him Sparky.

Sloths are said to be the laziest animals in the world. It is two days before the girl sees Sparky awake.

She tries to play with Sparky. He’s not very good at Hide-and-Seek or Kung Fu Fighter, but he’s very very good at Statue.

When another girl from school is critical of her pet, Sparky’s owner decides to present a Trained Sloth Extravaganza. Unfortunately, the only trick Sparky learns well is playing dead.

Interestingly, this book doesn’t end with a big bang or a punchy lesson. But we close with the girl sitting in the tree next to Sparky.

“You’re it, Sparky,” I said.

And for a long, long time he was.

This book makes me smile.

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Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.

Source: This review is based on a library book from Fairfax County Public Library.

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but I maintain my website and blogs on my own time. The views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.

Review of Firefly July, selected by Paul B. Janeczko, illustrated by Melissa Sweet

Children's Nonfiction Review, Poetry, Starred Review 0

firefly_july_largeFirefly July

A Year of Very Short Poems

selected by Paul B. Janeczko
illustrated by Melissa Sweet

Candlewick Press, 2014. 48 pages.
Starred Review

I’m not proud to say it, but a poetry book has to be something special to wow me. Firefly July is stunning.

The poems chosen have one thing in common: They are all short. They are also fit nicely into the context of a specific season.

A few are well-known, and I’d heard of them in my childhood, such as “The Red Wheelbarrow,” by William Carlos Williams, and “Fog,” by Carl Sandburg. Several more were by poets I’d heard of, such as Emily Dickinson and Langston Hughes. But the majority were entirely new to me. Those, too, were short and sweet and lovely.

Of course, the fact that all the poems are short makes this perfect for young kids looking for their first poem to memorize.

But the stunning part of the book is the way the bright pictures work with the poetry. I love the water lily on the page with this poem:

Water Lily

My petals enfold stamens of gold.
I float, serene, while down below

these roots of mine are deeply stuck
in the coolest most delicious muck.

–Ralph Fletcher

Melissa Sweet’s artwork is hard to describe. There are collage elements and bright colors and unsophisticated line drawings and friendly faces. They work beautifully with the poems in this collection.

candlewick.com

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Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.

Source: This review is based on a library book from Fairfax County Public Library.

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but I maintain my website and blogs on my own time. The views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.

Review of Hope Beyond Hell, by Gerry Beauchemin

Christian, Nonfiction Review, Starred Review 0

hope_beyond_hell_largeHope Beyond Hell

The Righteous Purpose of God’s Judgment

by Gerry Beauchemin

Malista Press, Olmito, Texas, 2007. 245 pages.
Starred Review

Years ago, through reading the books of George MacDonald, and through reading the Bible trying to put aside my preconceived notions, I came to believe that the Bible actually teaches that hell is not forever — that it has a redemptive purpose and will eventually be emptied out and every knee will bow to our loving Father. George MacDonald, however, while implying that this is what the Bible teaches, doesn’t lay out an argument of why he believes the Bible teaches this. Gerry Beauchemin, in this book, lays out an excellent argument.

Gerry Beauchemin calls his view “The Blessed Hope.” I like that very much, and much better than “Universalism,” because I think it’s different than what most people think of when they hear “Universalism.” Yes, I believe in hell. But I believe it represents the lengths to which a loving Father will go to bring his children back to Himself. It is not purposeless, everlasting torment.

Now, many Christians will automatically be arguing, “But that’s what the Bible says?” Is it really? I suggest you read this book and rethink that view. And I agree with the author that The Blessed Hope honors the character of God.

God is good even in His judgments. They are not infinite and horrendously cruel, but just, righteous, and remedial.

Many people don’t realize that the view that hell is eternal is not the one the church fathers held. I certainly didn’t realize that. Although this view is common today, it actually originated with Augustine, and so is called the Augustinian tradition here.

First, the author presents the pillars of his argument. The first pillar is the meaning of the Greek word Aion, which is more consistently translated “age” than “eternal.” Interestingly, Augustine, who supported the “eternal” interpretation (which is not consistent with other usage), was one of the first church leaders who wasn’t a native Greek speaker.

Then he talks about Gehenna, the lake of fire, which is every time spoken of as something finite, like prison. Also the word for “destruction,” apollumi is shown to mean “set aside,” “bring to nothing,” not “annihilate.” The author says, “Popular theology claims God is able to do all things except restore the destroyed for whom Christ died. Really?”

He also looks at God’s will and man’s free will. “God ‘will’ have all men to be saved. Does this mean God purposes with intent to accomplish His will, or that He merely desires it with no power to make it happen?”

He sums up the chapter on “Pillars” with this paragraph:

In this chapter, we have examined the foundational pillars upon which belief in infinite punishment is based and found them wanting. How many Christians including pastors and theologians have critically examined these pillars in light of the evidence presented here? I would venture to say very few. Given this evidence, let us explore with a fresh and open mind, unshackled by a flawed system and study the following chapters in sincerity and truth. Is there hope beyond Gehenna and the lake of fire? Might these judgments also have a positive purpose in God’s unfailing plan for man? The answer lies in the very nature of God Himself. Would a truly all-powerful and all-loving Creator bring into existence billions of people knowing well they would suffer for eternity as a result? Would He really pay such a price to get a few to love Him forever? This is what our tradition has taught. Is it true?

I do believe that Gerry Beauchemin goes on to present a wonderfully logical and complete argument for The Blessed Hope. Honestly, his words fill me with joy and love for my loving Father, who is Good, not vindictive and harsh and cruel. I am so glad that the people around me who don’t see things exactly my way will not be suffering in hell for all eternity — even the ones who make some bad choices in this life! (And don’t get me wrong — I wish they’d spare themselves a lot of suffering on that path to Life! But I really do believe God knows what each one needs.)

I’m not going to present all his arguments. Because I’d like people to consider them in full. I will, however, quote some paragraphs that I underlined in my slow savoring of the book.

This is from a chapter on God’s nature:

The longsuffering of our Lord “is” salvation. What a thought! When does the longsuffering of our heavenly Father for His children ever end? Does it end sooner than yours toward your children? The love of God expressed in His longsuffering will do what His brute power could never do — win the hearts of His enemies (Ps. 66:3-4) and make them His friends (Jer. 31:34; Jn. 15:15; Ro. 5:10).

Another interesting paragraph comes after quoting Christ telling his disciples to pray that God would send out laborers into His harvest (Mt. 9:36-38):

Why are we asked to pray for laborers for the harvest? Why are they needed? Doesn’t the text say it is because people are weary, scattered, distressed, and dispirited? But what has our tradition led us to believe? Answer: To pray because all people are on their way to hell! Isn’t there an inconsistency here?

And here is the introductory paragraph to the chapter called “Purpose-Driven Judgment”:

Is there any positive purpose to God’s Gehenna judgment? What purpose does it serve? According to the prevalent theology, its only purpose is to inflict pain. It refuses to acknowledge it has any remedial effect, and presents it merely as a perpetual prison from which its victims can never escape. I intend to show in this chapter the following facts: First, this view is simply unjust, and Scripture does not support unjust punishment of any kind. Second, Scripture affirms death is no obstacle to God in accomplishing His purposes in any life. Third, God is just and His justice satisfies even our God given human understanding of justice. Fourth, the Bible provides clear examples that all His judgments are driven by a positive purpose.

This paragraph echoed my own experiences when I read the Bible after becoming convinced that George MacDonald (who studied Greek) believed the Bible did not teach that hell lasts forever:

Most of us are not aware of how powerfully our paradigms affect how we understand the Scriptures. They force us to conclude certain passages do not mean what they say. Unless we are keenly aware of this, and make a diligent effort to compare Scripture with Scripture, we cannot see truth staring us in the face. It has been a slow, hard process for me. But once I stepped out of the eternal hell paradigm and began seeing Scripture without that filter, I was freed to receive God’s revelation in a fresh new way.

He looks at proclamations from Scripture, the Apostles, church fathers, logic, the character of God, and consequences. Is Christ really the Savior of the World?

Scripture refers to Christ as the Savior of the World. In fact, “Jesus” means savior (Mt. 1:21). The Father sent Him as such (1Jn. 4:14). Though popular theology gives lip service to this title, it actually denies it. It attests instead that Christ is merely the Savior of “some out” of the world. Or again, He is the “wish to be” Savior of the world. If the mass of humanity is lost forever, call Him what you will, He is not the Savior of the world. It does not matter that few, many, or most of the world is saved. Even if none are saved, He would still be referred to as “Savior of the world.” For the reasoning is simple: to offer salvation, makes a savior. That is strange indeed — “The Savior of the world not saved.” What would you think of a lifeguard who was hailed as the hero of the day at the funeral of a young child for merely having offered her a life preserver and then threw it to the other end of the pool?

Here’s an interesting summary:

The Blessed Hope and the Augustinian Tradition present two opposing views of God. Of these two ancient theologies, only the first does justice to the character of our glorious God as He is revealed in Christ. It is what the prophets, the apostles, and the early Church embraced. The second, on the other hand, is shackled by a theology of terror which I contend is the primary reason the Gospel has not yet taken the world by storm. Is it by coincidence that once it dominated the western church the medieval world plunged into the “dark ages”?

I am by no means presenting all the arguments here. If this interests you at all, I strongly recommend this book. As for me? Reading this book filled me with joyful, blessed hope.

hopebeyondhell.net

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Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.

Source: This review is based on my own copy, purchased via Amazon.com.

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but I maintain my website and blogs on my own time. The views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.

Review of Lulu and the Rabbit Next Door, by Hilary McKay

Beginning Chapter Books, Children's Fiction Review, Contemporary, Starred Review 0

lulu_and_the_rabbit_next_door_largeLulu and the Rabbit Next Door

by Hilary McKay
illustrated by Priscilla Lamont

Albert Whitman & Company, Chicago, 2014. First published in the United Kingdom in 2012. 91 pages.
Starred Review

This is the third beginning chapter book about animal-loving Lulu, and I like each one better than the last (having already been charmed by the first).

In Lulu and the Rabbit Next Door, Lulu gets new next-door neighbors, and they include a boy her age who has a rabbit. Lulu is excited about the rabbit, but the boy, named Arthur, is not. His grandfather gave him the rabbit, named George, when Arthur had asked for games for his Xbox. Arthur pays no attention to George except to feed him and check his water and clean out his cage.

That was true. Lulu knew it was true because she and Mellie checked. They could see George’s hutch quite clearly from Lulu’s bedroom window. With Lulu’s telescope they could see George sitting inside.

Day after day.

Week after week.

Twice a day, at breakfast time and dinnertime, Arthur visited George with food and water. Once a week on Saturday mornings, he put him on the ground, scooped all the sawdust out of the hutch into a black trash bag, and put in fresh sawdust. It didn’t take long to do this. The whole job was over in just a few minutes.

During those few minutes George became a different rabbit.

A non-sitting rabbit.

He would begin with hops. Then a stretch.

Then he would begin to run. He ran faster and faster in a racing circle all around the little garden. Sometimes as he ran, he leapt, high into the air. He ran until he had to stop, panting so hard his sides went in and out.

Then Arthur would pick him up and put him back inside his hutch.

To sit there for another week.

It was more than Lulu and Mellie could bear.

Lulu gets to keep George for a week while Arthur and his family go on vacation. George makes friends with Lulu’s rabbit Thumper (the one who doesn’t get along with her other four rabbits).

After Arthur takes George back to his lonely hutch, Lulu gets an idea. She starts sending letters to George from Thumper. The first one talks about how much work Thumper had making a bed of hay. There is a P.S.: “I am sending you a bag of hay so you can see for yourself what hard work it was.”

One after another, George gets notes that show Arthur how many interesting things a rabbit can do. It all culminates with a birthday party for Thumper that is almost stymied when Arthur has a hard time thinking of a present.

This beginning chapter book even kept me entertained. My sister had a rabbit when I was a kid, and I certainly had no idea how many things a rabbit can do. And besides that, the interactions between Lulu and her cousin Mellie with Arthur, who doesn’t know what to make of the crazy animal-lovers, are lifelike and fun. I enjoyed Mellie’s idea for teaching Arthur to take better care of George – she suggested they should keep him in a cage for a week. Their eventual solution was ingenious and delightful to watch unfold.

albertwhitman.com

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Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.

Source: This review is based on a library book from Fairfax County Public Library.

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but I maintain my website and blogs on my own time. The views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.

Please use the comments if you’ve read the book and want to discuss spoilers!

Review of How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk, by John Van Epp, PhD

Nonfiction Review, Personal Growth, Readalouds, Starred Review 0

how_to_avoid_falling_in_love_with_a_jerk_largeHow to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk

The Foolproof Way to Follow Your Heart Without Losing Your Mind

by John Van Epp, PhD

McGraw Hill, New York, 2007. 326 pages.
Original title: How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk.
Starred Review

Nine years after my husband left me, I’ve finally started dating again. And I’m finding it’s not for the faint of heart! I’m also finding that I’m so starved for male affection, it’s easy to let my feelings run away with me.

My sister is a Marriage and Family Counselor. For my 50th birthday, to celebrate that I’ve joined some online dating sites, she gave me a copy of this book, which she recommends to clients. Mind you, I haven’t had a date since I read the book, but the ideas make a lot of sense to me, and I’m hoping to get chances to put them into practice.

His promise is that he can help you keep your head when following your heart. That would be nice, wouldn’t it? The basic tool he teaches people to use is the Relationship Attachment Model. Here’s where he describes it (with a helpful diagram):

The five fundamental dynamics are the depth to which you know, trust, rely on, have a commitment to, and have sexual involvement with another person….

Picture a sound system’s equalizer with five up-and-down sliders evenly placed across the face of the board. The slider on the far left represents the extent to which you really know a person. As you move the bar on this slider up over time, you signify a richer, fuller, and more personal knowledge of the other. The next slider represents the range of trust you have for that person. This bar rises to denote a deeper, more positive, confident trust in your partner. The third slider represents the extent to which you rely on this person. Moving this bar up indicates the greater ways you depend on this person to meet your most significant needs. The fourth slider represents the range of commitment you have established with this person. The slider for this dynamic rises to signify greater levels of commitment expressed within your relationship. The final slider, on the far right, represents the degree of sexual touch and chemistry that exists between you and your partner. Elevating this slider signifies increases in the passionate chemistry and sexual contact with your partner….

Not only do these dynamics stand on their own as channels of bonding in your relationships, but they also interact with each other to produce a mix of the overall attachment in a relationship. As soon as you imagine some of the sliders up and some down, you immediately gain a sense of the mixed nature of love and attachment. In the same way that the controls on your equalizer affect the different tones of the overall sound of your music, the blend of the different levels of these five bonding relationship dynamics produces the “sound” of your attachment.

When all five are at the top level, the feelings of attachment are strongest. But when even one is low, attachment is weakened and your feelings of closeness become mixed. You are easily confused, hurt, and doubtful. The balance of all five bonding dynamics determines the healthiness of your relationship and the clarity of your perspective on your partner.

Here lies one of the most important keys to building a healthy relationship: keep a balance among the five relationship dynamics. Whenever the relationship dynamics shift out of balance with each other, you will feel unsafe, experiencing feelings of hurt, betrayal, confusion, mistrust, unfairness, anger, loneliness, or any combination of these. But when you keep these five dynamics in balance with each other so that you are not moving further ahead in one area than in any of the others, then you are securely planted in the safe zone.

There is one basic rule for guarding the safe zone: never go further in one bonding area than you have gone in the previous. This rule is based on the view that the five bonding dynamics have a specific order and logic to them: what you know about a person determines the degree you should trust him or her; this trust directs you in choosing what personal needs you can rely on him or her to meet; you should become committed only to the extent that you know, trust, and depend on that person; and finally, any degree of sexual involvement is safest when it matches the context of the overall intimacy reflected in the levels of the other four dynamics.

Slipping out of the safe zone explains the most common mistake people make in relationships: when the levels of the five dynamics are out of balance, then the emotional bond becomes unhealthy, and you tend to overlook crucial characteristics of the other person that should be exposed and explored. Thus, your love becomes truly blind. Or without knowing why, you wind up rationalizing characteristics and experiences that create a vague sense of unease.

This is by no means all that’s in the book. In fact, there’s almost too much detail. I felt like the author went on and on about what you need to know. But he continued with each of the relationship dynamics, explaining ways to strengthen that area, and providing plenty of examples and counterexamples. And the nice thing is that the big picture message is clear and easy to visualize.

And lest you think this model won’t work or is impossible to carry out, the author refers to multiple studies that back up his views on how to build a healthy and happy relationship.

Definitely food for thought. I hope I will get to try it out!

johnvanepp.com
mhprofessional.com

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Find this review on Sonderbooks at: www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/how_to_avoid_falling_in_love_with_a_jerk.html

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.

Source: This review is based on my own copy given to me by my sister on my 50th birthday.

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but I maintain my website and blogs on my own time. The views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.

Review of Eye to Eye, by Steve Jenkins

Children's Nonfiction Review, Science, Starred Review 0

eye_to_eye_largeEye to Eye

How Animals See the World

by Steve Jenkins

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, Boston, 2014. 36 pages.
Starred Review

Steve Jenkins does it again! He’s the one who can make incredibly detailed animal art using cut paper collage. His art looks like photographs and has amazing levels of detail. When coupled with fascinating facts about animals, his books are exceptional.

Eye to Eye looks at four kinds of animal eyes: eyespots, a simple cluster of light-sensitive cells; pinhole eyes, which can form dim but detailed images; compound eyes with hundreds or thousands of individual facets; and camera eyes, found in all birds, amphibians, reptiles, and mammals, emplying a lens to focus light on the sensitive surface of a retina.

Then he’s got examples of the different types of eyes and all sorts of strange and unusual eyes. We’ve got the biggest eyes in the world (on a colossal squid), eyes bigger than the animal’s brain (on a tarsier), the most highly developed eyes (on a mantis shrimp), eyes that look in two directions (on the brownsnout spookfish), an animal with a third eye on the top of its head (the tuatara), and a creature with as many as 111 eyeballs (the Atlantic bay scallop), among others.

I found some of the creatures a bit disgusting, but I’m guessing that will make certain kids enjoy the book all the more. I learned a lot about eyes reading this book. Another treasure trove of information paired with mind-boggling artwork from Steve Jenkins.

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Find this review on Sonderbooks at: www.sonderbooks.com/Nonfiction/eye_to_eye.html

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.

Source: This review is based on a library book from Fairfax County Public Library.

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but I maintain my website and blogs on my own time. The views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.

Review of The Inimitable Jeeves, by P. G. Wodehouse

Audiobooks, Fiction Review, Humorous, Starred Review 0

inimitable_jeeves_largeThe Inimitable Jeeves

by P. G. Wodehouse

narrated by Jonathan Cecil

AudioGO, 2009. First published in 1923. 6 hours, 18 minutes on 6 compact discs.
Starred Review

Since I was having such fun listening to Jeeves and Wooster stories, and since the library seems to have new copies of several of the books, I decided to try to listen to them more or less in order. NoveList tells me that The Inimitable Jeeves is the third book, coming after The Man with Two Left Feet, and Other Stories, which only has one Jeeves and Wooster story, and My Man Jeeves, which the library only has in a print edition.

I do know I’ve read The Inimitable Jeeves before, sometime or other, and the events related here were also reproduced in the brilliant BBC miniseries which I have on DVD. But that didn’t keep me from enjoying Jonathan Cecil’s performance tremendously. And I enjoyed the characters and situations all the more, because I know how they will continue to haunt Bertie’s life.

Indeed, this is the volume where Bertie first gets engaged to Honoria Glossop. It happens because, while having a disagreement with Jeeves, Bertie thought he could get his pal Bingo Little (who was then in love with Honoria) out of a scrape using his own brain power. How foolish, Bertie! I found myself trying to warn him the whole time, and shaking my head with great delight as his scheme went wrong.

Of course, Jonathan Cecil adds so much. This one involves several romantic trials which only Jeeves can solve, including one involving Jeeves himself (which I hadn’t remembered). I listened to this while driving my son back to Williamsburg after Spring Break, and there’s nothing better at making the road seem short than hearty laughter, don’t you know.

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Find this review on Sonderbooks at: www.sonderbooks.com/Fiction/inimitable_jeeves.html

Disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate, and will earn a small percentage if you order a book on Amazon after clicking through from my site.

Source: This review is based on a library audiobook from Fairfax County Public Library.

Disclaimer: I am a professional librarian, but I maintain my website and blogs on my own time. The views expressed are solely my own, and in no way represent the official views of my employer or of any committee or group of which I am part.

Please use the comments if you’ve read the book and want to discuss spoilers!