Review of Soar Above, by Steven Stosny

soar_above_largeSoar Above

How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain Under Any Kind of Stress

by Steven Stosny, PhD

Health Communications, Deerfield Beach, Florida, 2016. 229 pages.
Starred Review

I think of Steven Stosny as a relationship guru. His book, You Don’t Have to Take It Anymore (retitled Love Without Hurt) dramatically changed my outlook when my marriage was falling apart and helped transform my own anger into compassion. More recently, his book Living and Loving After Betrayal helped my healing process after divorce. I also attended his Compassion Power Boot Camp years ago and enjoy reading his “Anger in the Age of Entitlement” Psychology Today blog.

It was from the blog that I learned about his new book, Soar Above. At last a book for everyone and for every situation of life – not just when you’re in a tough relationship. This book I can recommend to everyone without fearing they’ll think I’m saying something negative about their relationships.

The Preface of the book lists the questions Dr. Stosny is trying to answer:

Why do so many smart and creative people make the same mistakes over and over, in life, work, and love?

At what point does the unavoidable emotional pain of life become entirely avoidable suffering?

How do we escape suffering while remaining vibrant and passionate about life?

Most of this book talks about the tension between the Toddler brain and the Adult brain. They are specific sections of our brain. The Adult brain does develop later in life – but sometimes it’s hard to get out of the habit of reacting with our Toddler brain.

He explains the problem:

The downside of late maturity in the Adult brain is that it comes online after the Toddler brain has already formed habits of coping with the alarms it raises, mostly through blame, denial, and avoidance. Many Adult brain interpretations and explanations under stress are dominated by those habits, which lowers the accuracy of its reality-testing and impairs its ability to make viable judgments. To the extent that Toddler brain habits are reinforced in adulthood, the Adult confuses the alarm with reality, which makes Toddler brain alarms self-validating:

“If I’m angry at you, you must be doing something wrong. If I’m anxious, you must be threatening, rejecting, or manipulative.”

The result is self-fulfilling prophecy. Other people are bound to react negatively to the negativity I transmit.

Fortunately, the Adult brain has the power to override Toddler brain habits and intentionally develop new ones that serve one’s long-term best interests. Developing new habits is not an easy process, but it’s utterly necessary to soaring above.

The Adult brain is good at lots of things, including calming down Toddler brain alarms. But where it really helps us is with its ability to create Value, Meaning, and Purpose.

Value is a special kind of importance that goes beyond survival and biological needs. To value is to make people, things, and ideas important enough to appreciate, nurture, and protect. We create meaning and purpose in our lives by honoring the value we bestow on people, objects, concepts, behaviors, and some notion of spirituality.

A sunset has value if and only if we give it value – that is, invest energy and effort to fully perceive it, which allows us to appreciate it. While it does nothing for the sunset if we value it, valuing it does wonders for us. The moment of value creation makes us feel more vital, engaged, interested, and appreciative – in short, more alive. Life means more at the instant we create value, just as it means less when we’re not creating value. Most positive emotion, passion, meaning, purpose, and conviction come from creating and protecting value, and much emptiness, aggression, and depression result from failure to create value.

I’m posting lots of quotations from this book on my Sonderquotes blog. I’m also going to reread it to help its message sink in.

If you ever feel bogged down in your Toddler brain, reacting with blame, denial, and avoidance; if you’d like to feel more Meaning and Purpose in your life, I can’t recommend this book highly enough.

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Review of Booked, by Kwame Alexander

booked_largeBooked

by Kwame Alexander

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, Boston, 2016. 314 pages.
Starred Review

A sports novel in verse is pretty much the last sort of book I’d pick up on my own. But this one is nominated for Capitol Choices, and I did love Newbery-winning The Crossover, so I picked up this book last night and ended up reading it in one sitting. I’d forgotten just how good Kwame Alexander’s poetry is.

The story revolves around Nick Hall, a kid who loves soccer. His Dad is a professor of linguistics and he requires Nick to read from his dictionary called Weird and Wonderful Words. Nick hates this task – but his writing – the poems in this book – is peppered with weird and wonderful words, defined in the footnotes. The words include things like limerence, sweven, cachinnate, and logorrhea.

Nick’s got some conflict going on. His best friend’s on an opposing soccer team. There’s a girl he likes. Issues with teachers. He wants to compete in the Dallas Cup, but first his parents, then his own health gets in the way. But the big overarching problem is conflict between his parents.

The story is good, and compelling (I didn’t, after all, put it down until I’d finished.), but what makes the book truly wonderful is Kwame Alexander’s poetry.

He varies the formats so beautifully. There are poems that rhyme. There are acrostic poems. There are poems in two voices. There are long poems and short poems. There are poems made by blacking out all but a few words on the pages of a book. There are poems in two voices to show conversations.

Here’s a short one:

Problemo
The girls
let down
their ponytails,
high-five
their coach,
then walk over
to shake
our sweaty palms
after beating us
five to three.

Here’s another:

Thought

It does not take
a math genius
to understand that
when you subtract
a mother
from the equation
what remains
is negative.

One of my favorites rhymes, but gives away what happens, so I won’t include that one.

And I must confess – all the white space of a verse novel did make it easier to keep going until I finished. I’m sure it will act on kids the same way, too. A verse novel and a sports novel is a great combination. It’s also a novel about words and about issues important to eighth-graders. A win all around.

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Review of The Complete Peanuts, 1999-2000, by Charles M. Schulz

complete_peanuts_9900_largeThe Complete Peanuts

The Definitive Collection of Charles M. Schulz’s Comic Strip Masterpiece

Dailies and Sundays plus Li’l Folks

1999 to 2000

by Charles M. Schulz

introduction by President Barack Obama

Fantagraphics Books, 2016. 315 pages.
Starred Review

This series is wonderful. Every single Peanuts strip is reproduced, in order. My family has been following it since the series began in 2004 with the 1950 to 1952 volume.

I reviewed the first several volumes, but then decided there wasn’t a lot more to say. They are brilliant, and it is wonderful that Fantagraphics is assembling this collection.

My son and I wondered what they would do with the final volume, since Charles Schulz died in February 2000, so the book would only be half as long.

The solution Fantagraphics came up with delighted us — they reprinted Li’l Folks, a cartoon panel series that Charles Schulz drew from 1947 to 1950 for the St. Paul Pioneer Press. You can see some things that showed up in the early Peanuts strips directly quoted.

It has been a tremendous treat to read all of the Peanuts cartoons over these past twelve years. And now one more volume is promised, with “bonus material and rarities.” I can’t wait!

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Review of Tiny Stitches, by Gwendolyn Hooks, illustrated by Colin Bootman

tiny_stitches_largeTiny Stitches

The Life of Medical Pioneer Vivien Thomas

by Gwendolyn Hooks
illustrated by Colin Bootman

Lee & Low Books, New York, 2016. 32 pages.
Starred Review

Tiny Stitches is the story of Vivien Thomas, the African-American medical researcher who developed the surgical procedure that saved the life of blue babies during the days of segregation and despite overwhelming prejudice.

Vivien always wanted to be a doctor. He saved money for medical school even as a child working with his father as a carpenter. But they lost all their savings in the Great Depression.

It wasn’t through going to medical school that Vivien got his opportunity. He interviewed for a job with medical researcher Dr. Alfred Blalock, and impressed him with his knowledge and intelligent questions. He got a job assisting Dr. Blalock, who gave him more and more research of his own.

Vivien’s surgical techniques improved with each operation. Just as he had learned to fit pieces of wood together seamlessly, Vivien learned to suture, or sew, blood vessels together seamlessly. Dr. Blalock was impressed by Vivien’s tiny stitches. Sometimes Vivien assisted Dr. Blalock with an experiment. On other days, Dr. Blalock assisted Vivien.

Vivien was happy working as a researcher, until he learned that his official job description was janitor. White men with the same duties and skills as Vivien were called research technicians and earned more money. Vivien was insulted. He was not a janitor. He told Dr. Blalock that he would not continue working unless he was paid the same as the other technicians. A few days later, Vivien noticed his paycheck was much better. He now earned about the same as the white technicians.

In 1941, Dr. Blalock became Chief of Surgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland. He took Vivien Thomas with him, where Vivien faced even more discrimination.

In 1943, Dr. Helen Taussig approached them with the problem of blue babies – babies born with a heart defect so that their blood didn’t get enough oxygen, and they died. Dr. Blalock assigned Vivien to research a method for operating on the babies.

Vivien had to develop new needles small enough to use on babies, and he tried the procedure out on animals. Dr. Blalock assisted Vivien only once during his experiments.

On November 29, 1944, Dr. Blalock tried the procedure Vivien had developed on a blue baby patient named Eileen. Dr. Blalock asked Vivien to stand on a stool behind him and guide him through the operation.

After that operation and others (also assisted by Vivien) were successful, Dr. Blalock and Dr. Taussig were highly acclaimed.

As news spread of Dr. Blalock’s success, two or three operations a week soon became two or three operations a day. Patients came from as far away as Europe to have the procedure. Vivien remained standing on the stool behind Dr. Blalock, coaching him through more than one hundred fifty operations.

The last double-page spread has a picture of Vivien in full academic regalia up on stage.

Vivien Thomas was not publicly acknowledged for his brilliant research and surgical talents until more than twenty-six years after the first blue baby operation. On February 27, 1971, the Old Hands Club, a group of doctors who had trained under Vivien, presented a formal portrait of him to Johns Hopkins Hospital. It is displayed across from Dr. Blalock’s portrait. In 1976, Johns Hopkins University awarded Vivien an honorary doctorate degree and appointed him to the faculty as Instructor of Surgery.

Although he never had the chance to attend medical school, Vivien’s research pioneered open-heart surgery on children. Today about forty thousand children are born each year with heart problems. Because of Vivien Thomas, these children now have a chance to live full and healthy lives.

This book isn’t flashy. The prose tells the story without frills. The pictures show a doctor at work. There’s nothing surprising or startling here.

But the story tells about a remarkable man who did outstanding work and saved lives – even without recognition.

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Review of Frederick’s Journey, by Doreen Rappaport

fredericks_journey_largeFrederick’s Journey

The Life of Frederick Douglass

by Doreen Rappaport
illustrated by London Ladd

Disney Jump at the Sun, Los Angeles, 2015. 44 pages.
Starred Review

Here’s another striking large format picture book biography from Doreen Rappaport. Like her biography of Theodore Roosevelt, To Dare Mighty Things, the bold painting of the subject on the cover sets the tone.

She has a gift for telling important things about a subject even in the short picture book form. Of course, the large paintings by London Ladd keep the reader engaged. As with To Dare Mighty Things, the author includes quotations on every spread.

Frederick Douglass’s story begins with his childhood as a slave. It goes on to tell how he worked hard to learn to read and eventually gained the hope that motivated him to seek his freedom. After that, he worked tirelessly to spread freedom to others.

The quotation at the front of the book sums it up well:

You have seen how man was made a slave;
You shall see how a slave was made a man.

This book shows you Frederick’s story, so you can see his journey yourself.

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Review of The Story of Diva and Flea, by Mo Willems and Tony DiTerlizzi

story_of_diva_and_flea_largeThe Story of Diva and Flea

As Told & Shown by Mo Willems & Tony DiTerlizzi

Hyperion Books for Children, 2015. 70 pages.
Starred Review

I like beginning chapter books that actually have an interesting story, which anyone will like. There’s a place for stories that appeal to young children, and this is written in a simple style. But it’s an interesting story, whatever your age.

This book is set in Paris, where Mo Willems lived for awhile. It tells about Diva, a little dog who lives with the gardienne of a grand old apartment building.

Diva took her job seriously. Every day, she would exit the grand front door, trot across the small courtyard, and stand at the building’s front gate. From there she watched and guarded, and guarded and watched.

And if anything ever happened, no matter how big or small, Diva would yelp and run away.

Diva was very good at her job.

It also tells about Flea, a large cat who lives on the streets of Paris.

Flea did have a fixed occupation, however. He was a flâneur. A flâneur is someone (or somecat) who wanders the streets and bridges and alleys of the city just to see what there is to see. A great flâneur has seen everything, but still looks for more, because there is always more to discover.

Flea was a really great flâneur.

When Diva meets Flea? Diva (with much hesitation at first) learns about a big world of things to discover, and Flea (with much hesitation at first) learns about the comforts of Friends and Home.

Tony DiTerlizzi’s art (gently colored) adds just the right touch to this story and gives it the flavor of Paris. There’s a nice double-page spread when Diva sees the Eiffel Tower for the first time.

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Review of The Whisper, by Pamela Zagarenski

whisper_largeThe Whisper

by Pamela Zagarenski

Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, Boston, 2015. 36 pages.
Starred Review

The Whisper is a mystical, highly symbolic picture book about imagination.

The main story is that a girl is given a book by her teacher. But when she gets home and opens the book, there are no words inside, only pictures.

As the little girl paged through the wordless book, she heard the wind blow and then a small whisper:

“Dear little girl, don’t be disappointed.
You can imagine the words.
You can imagine the stories.
Start with a few simple words and imagine from there.
Remember: beginnings, middles, and ends of stories can always be changed and imagined differently.
There are never any rules, rights, or wrongs in imagining – imagining just is.”

The whisper sounded so knowing and wise to the little girl that she opened the book to the first page and began.

From there, we see each lavishly painted page and hear the beginning of the story the little girl tells about each one.

There are definitely recurring themes in the paintings (In fact, themes that tie in with Pamela Zagarenski’s other books) which also tie in with the stuffed animals in the girl’s room, and the fox who followed her home.

And that all sounds a lot simpler than this book really is. There are layers upon layers. After a few readings, I’m still not at all sure I’ve grasped everything that’s going on.

You could also use this book as a simple Seek-and-Find book with the various recurring elements happening on each page.

But the overarching idea is this: You can make stories yourself.

And you will be glad you did.

Oh, and my favorite painting is the one of the wizard who blows bubbles in the shapes of things and fills the harbor with enormous white whales.

Imaginative!

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Review of Across the Universe, by Beth Revis

across_the_universe_largeAcross the Universe

by Beth Revis

Penguin, 2011. 398 pages.
Starred Review

This is a science fiction dystopian story crossed with locked room mystery.

Across the Universe is told from two perspectives. First, we have Amy. As the book opens, she watches both her parents get cryogenically frozen to travel on a space ship for 300 years to terraform a new planet. Amy’s father tells her she doesn’t have to go through with it, but she decides to stay with them.

The other narrator is Elder, a sixteen-year-old who lives on the spaceship Godspeed, being trained to be the next leader. He’s frustrated because Eldest hasn’t been training him as he should be. He is destined to lead all the people on the ship – Shouldn’t he know more about it?

Elder finds out about the frozen people in the belly of the ship. Not long after, the beautiful girl with the amazing red hair wakes up. They are fifty years away from landing – who woke her early? How will she cope with life on Godspeed, which is not what she signed up for?

The story continues, seen from both Amy’s and Elder’s perspectives. Things that Elder thinks are normal, Amy sees as seriously flawed. Eldest tells them this is how things must be. Amy tries to explain what life was like on earth, but most of the people of Godspeed believe she’s crazy.

Then more of the frozen passengers thaw – and some die. Who is responsible? Are Amy’s parents’ lives in danger? What secrets are behind the strange life on the ship? And will Amy ever see the stars again? Does Elder have what it takes to lead his people? When should he speak up, and when is it best to simply obey Eldest? What does Eldest know about their mission that he is keeping hidden?

Eldest tells Elder that discord comes from differences. Amy is different. Will the discord she brings destroy the ship?

This is the first book of a trilogy. By waiting so long to read it (I meant to read it ever since it was first published), I will not have to wait to read the sequels! I’ll let you know what I think….

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Review of Moving Mountains, by John Eldredge

moving_mountains_largeMoving Mountains

Praying with Passion, Confidence, and Authority

by John Eldredge

Nelson Books, 2016. 248 pages.
Starred Review

My church Small Group went through this book this year, and we’ve been richly blessed.

Moving Mountains is a book about prayer, and praying effectively.

We have embarked on the most exciting story possible, filled with danger, adventure, and wonders. There is nothing more hopeful than the thought that things can be different, we can move mountains, and we have some role in bringing that change about.

As in his other books, John Eldredge reminds us that we are at war – but God has given us authority in the battle.

The Scriptures are a sort of wake-up call to the human race, a trumpet blast, to use Francis Thompson’s phrase, “from this hid battlements of eternity.” One alarm they repeatedly sound is that we are all caught up in the midst of a collision of kingdoms – the kingdom of God advancing with force against the kingdom of darkness, which for the moment holds most of the world in its clutches. Is this your understanding of the world you find yourself in? Does this shape the way you pray – and the way you interpret “unanswered” prayer?

The author also points out that God is growing us up. He’s teaching us to use the weapons He’s given us by throwing us into the battle.

Now, if you believed both assumptions, if they were woven into your deepest convictions about the world, you would want to learn to pray like a soldier wants to learn to use his weapon, like a smoke jumper wants to learn survival skills. We really have no idea what sort of breakthrough is actually possible until we learn to pray. Perhaps we, too, will be ending droughts and stopping wildfires.

With that background as to where we’re going, John Eldredge doesn’t leap right into prayer of warfare. He lays the groundwork, looking at our beliefs about God. Here’s a moving section:

A slave feels reluctant to pray; they feel they have no right to ask, and so their prayers are modest and respectful. They spend more time asking forgiveness than they do praying for abundance. They view the relationship with reverence, maybe more like fear, but not with the tenderness of love. Of being loved. There is no intimacy in the language or their feelings. Sanctified unworthiness colors their view of prayer. These are often “good servants of the Lord.”

An orphan is not reluctant to pray; they feel desperate. But their prayers feel more like begging than anything else. Orphans feel a great chasm between themselves and the One to whom they speak. Abundance is a foreign concept; a poverty mentality permeates their prayer lives. They ask for scraps; they expect scraps.

But not sons; sons know who they are.

Before he talks about praying for others, he covers our authority in Christ.

We really thought this life was simply about getting a nice little situation going for ourselves and living out the length of our days in happiness. I’m sorry to take that from you, but you and I shall soon be inheriting kingdoms, and we are almost illiterate when it comes to ruling. So God must prepare us to reign. How does he do this? In exactly the same way he grows us up – he puts us in situations that require us to pray and to learn how to use the authority that has been given to us. How else could it possibly happen?

After talking about prayers of intervention, the book goes on to talk about consecration and about daily prayer to align ourselves with God’s purposes. Then it covers prayer for guidance, listening prayer, praying Scripture, warfare prayer, and inner and outer healing. The final chapter talks about outcomes that are not what we had desired.

I love this reminder:

Life wins. Sometimes now, especially if we will pray. But life wins fully, and very soon.

Just as we must fix our eyes on Jesus when we pray, we must also fix our hearts on this one undeniable truth: life will win. When you know that unending joy is about to be yours, you live with such an unshakable confidence it will almost be a swagger. You can pray boldly, without fear, knowing that, “If this doesn’t work now, it will work totally and completely very soon.” We can have that kingdom attitude of Daniel’s friends, who said, “God is able to deliver, and he will deliver. But if not . . .” we will not lose heart. Period.

As we worked through this book, our Small Group found ourselves getting opportunities to practice what we were learning. We saw some mighty examples of God working. And we feel like we’re only at the beginning of our journey.

I highly recommend this book for personal study, but especially for group study if your group is ready for an adventure together.

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Review of Butterfly Counting, by Jerry Pallotta

butterfly_counting_largeButterfly Counting

by Jerry Pallotta
and Shennen Bersani

Charlesbridge, 2015. 32 pages.
Starred Review

I’ll admit, I am already a huge Jerry Pallotta fan. Why? Because 27 years ago, The Bird Alphabet Book was one of the very first books my child loved. We read it so often, she could recite whole paragraphs from the book with her cute toddler voice. Phooey, 27 years later, I can recite whole paragraphs from the book. (I especially remember, “Wait a minute, bats are not birds! Although they have wings and can fly, bats are mammals…. Get out of this book, you bats!”)

This book does a little of that playing with the reader as well. It starts with a spread of 20 moths. After counting them,

But wait . . . these are not butterflies! These are all moths. We tricked you! Moths can be very colorful.

Then it goes on to count butterflies of different varieties. The first ten butterflies are red, blue, green, purple, orange, black, white, pink, yellow, and brown. The next nine are multicolored and patterned butterflies. Then for 20 to 25, they look at the lifecycle of the butterfly, beginning with twenty Pipevine Swallowtail butterfly eggs.

Each page tells us the word for butterfly in another language. And the book is full of facts about the different varieties of butterflies.

And the book is so beautiful! The illustrator has made stunning paintings of each variety of butterfly (or moth).

It’s so easy for me to imagine a small child, like young Jade, avidly learning and reciting these facts.

The last page shows a lovely creature with wings that go from yellow to bright pink.

A butterfly in Great Britain is called a butterfly. But don’t be silly! This is not a butterfly. It is a grasshopper. Should we write a grasshopper book next?

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